fifteen

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN!
015. There's been change

|| WOLVES ||❝In your eyes,there's a heavy blue, one to love,and one to lose

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|| WOLVES ||
❝In your eyes,
there's a heavy
blue, one to love,
and one to lose.❞

➳➳

WAS IT INEVITABLE that Peeta would need to rest?

Probably more than anyone admitted at first. We watched him stumbled around for another few hours as we wandered around the dome like the minute hand of a clock, right until the point when he legs became wooden and his lips flattened into the smallest of lines. A switch had been pulled within him the second that we let him sit with his torso suspended from the ground; a switch that finally told us that we had gone to far, and the first day on the Hunger Games needed to be brought to an end.

Katniss was the only one that refused to stop, which left the rest of us to watch over Peeta like we were the ones that wanted to marry him. For Finnick and Mags, that meant weiveing the most delecate mats out of trees that I had ever seen, while for me that meant so much more than that.

In my mind I was going through years in minutes, and days in seconds.

As a beat passed, the trees slowly fell into the quicksand that had surrounded me once before,;the same sand that made my foot feel like it was suffocating as small scattered particles made it's way between my toenails. It was a feeling I felt when I saw the way he watched me in the spot on the floor, or when I spotted him frowing at the work he was doing. Something told me that Finnick wasn't ever frowning due to the mats, and maybe, just if I closed my eyes and tried to avoid the panic that would settle in if I focused on the sand instead of the boy from 4, I could imagine it was something to do with our terms.

I missed him.

It always had been different when the things you want actually happened. When he was in Four and I was in Five it didn't matter that we never talked, because I knew that he was there if I needed him to be. I knew there was a phone that I could call, and a train that I could catch to try and find a way to see him if I was brave enough- but I never was. Now, those possibilities had been blocked, and that was too hard to swallow all at once.

I thought it would make me happier, but all it made me want to do was promise him the world. I never realised the security I had whenever I was lost before, but now even my lucid daydreams were becoming irrelevant compared to the life I was trying to wade through. Now, the memory of Remy and I in quicksand was like the soft noise that came from my TV at night as Lillian watched it- it became a background for my own important things that couldn't be missed.

It seemed as if the visions had been demoted from the most important, to the thing I missed because of something else that seemed to pain me more. This time, the top spot went to a thought that I hadn't ever considered before.

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