There's nothing that hurts worse than separation, physiologically or physically, from something/ someone you really care about. Whether it's family, friends, a significant other, or a precious childhood toy, it hurts. There's an irreplaceable gash inside. No matter how hard you strive to fill it, nothing ever will, unless that thing returns.
Many people say that time will make it better. That's not always the case. It sometimes gets worse, like an untreated disease. It spreads, getting worse over time. It might seem like you can be the same without it, but you can't. Even if you aren't necessarily around it the whole time, it's nice to know it is there. All of that goes away when it is 100% permanent.
There are no "what ifs" in this. It is gone. They are gone. They've passed on to another life. They're making someone else happy.
At times, it feels kind of selfish to mope over it, it was their life anyways. That's when you realize something. You have a right to be upset. They left you.
On top of that, there are the people who try to "help" you. Some help, others don't. Being asked if you are okay is horrible, or when people you don't want around pester you. There are very few people to be around that aren't bothersome in this time. Even at that, it still hurts.
December 9, 2019
That is the day my brother died. It was a regular day. I was coming back from the studio to hang out with Michael. He was waiting at my house when I arrived, but he wasn't alone. The rest of the guys were there too. He told me, and I knew that something was going to be wrong for a while, a long time.
Brayden was so young. He didn't deserve this.
It's been one week, and my world is already crashing down. I miss him, hell, I miss him so much. To make it even worse, my lifeline has to go back to Ohio soon.
By soon, I mean five days.
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I was tagged so here (I was too lazy to crop it)
1: his name is Michael Conor and I love him
2: Chelsea, or at least I think that's how it's spelt
3: 5'6.5"
4: nine wide in women's
5:blue, but not blue blue, more grayish blue
6: Last Friday in yearbook when I looked and saw tattoo was being released a week early
7: centipedes DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED
8: irl's cover of finesse
9: my friend Margaret
10: safari😂
I'm too lazy to tag 20 people, so I'm just going to do the usual
