A Faithful Choice

Chapter Twenty

Abigail did not believe what she said. She ran the scenario over in her head multiple times and found the results the same. She and Matt had stopped courting over her stupidity. Abigail buried her face in her hands as she slipped to the floor. Sara came into their bedroom a few moments later, looking as sad as Abigail felt.

"Did you really tell Matthew that you are not courting anymore?"
"Yes. I feel so bad now."
"He is downstairs. Speak with him and break the ice. I want you two to be together. I'm afraid 'tis obvious that there are tension and regrets between you two."
Abigail nodded and tried to still the tears. Sara helped her to her feet and took her downstairs, into the living room.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything.", Sara whispered. Abi nodded and noticed a figure standing by the fireplace, his outline blurry through Abigail's tears. The boy/man turned and Abigail saw the reflected anguish in Matt's own eyes. His pale and ice blue eyes seemed to darken with sadness. Abigail realized how much she would miss looking into those eyes if he died or she had never apologized to him. She noticed the way he tightened his grip on the hand that was missing a finger. She felt bad for causing it.

"Abigail-"

"Matt, do not speak yet. I am so sorry. I was thinking about what I would say before I ended things off and how I would treat things and the outcome seemed happy. I am everything but happy here. I love the village and everyone in it, but the fact that there is an 'us' is ruining something. Oh God, I'm making everything sound worse."
Dear God, please help Matt and I. He does not know what I am trying to say, and I will need you to help me through this. I trust you.

"I am so sorry!!! I did not mean that. I simply meant that things will be more awkward if there is an 'us'." Abigail threw her hands in the air. "That's not what I meant either!" She broke down and cried. Abigail tried to pull herself together, but she collapsed onto the ground, weeping. Abigail felt someone pick her up and set her on a chair. She looked up and saw Matt's confused smile.

"Abigail-"

"No. I only thought our relationship was built on lies from the beginning, but my mind is the one that was lying. I do care for you, and I know you do the same. If we did not, you would never have asked Papa to court me, would you?"
"No."
"Exactly. I feel so ashamed and wounded over my own actions."
Matt opened his mouth to speak when Abigail cut him off again. "No. I told you not to speak until I am finished. I know I sound rude and cruel, but I have only felt true sadness since I said no."

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Matt bit his lip. Abigail was making him quite uncomfortable, even if he had picked her up to put her into a chair. Abi was acting like a spoiled lady should. Lady Potter never was rude; she was a peasant beforehand and had fallen in love with Lord Potter. Abi was an opposite story. She had been given special things when she wished for them.

"Matt, are you listening? I poured out my current feelings and yet you are looking the other way." Matt felt rage bubble inside him. It was the time he confessed his newest secret. "Ever so sorry Lady Everett, but I am courting another woman now. You remember Aurayia, Sir Parker's fiancée? She has decided to give me a chance." The tears dried immediately, and Matt saw anger boil inside her eyes. He had no part of it. He was courting Aurayia Brown. She was beautiful, and she knew of hatred and sorrow. Aurayia and Matt had more in common than Lady Everett and Matt himself.