We All Fall Down - A Criminal Minds AU

Twenty Five

You wanted to tell them both, to get it over with. You knew Emily would react and that Tara would reason with her and tell her it was your choice. And although you kept telling yourself that really, you had no choice, you actually did. You'd had choices all along, you'd just always made the wrong one which was why you were here. You knew you could stay with them, that Spencer would eventually have to tell his mother what had happened and that she would have to accept it, just like you knew that in a years time she would have to accept it. But seeing that post she'd made, how sweet she'd been about you even though she barely knew you, you wanted to give her that year. Just one year to get used to being without her husband and then she could support her son as he got used to being without his wife. You had a choice and whether it was the right one or not, you had made it.

Making your excuses you headed off upstairs, quietly packing your bags and setting your alarm. Erin would be back tomorrow but Grant had asked you to come in for ten, just to help with a delivery that was due in. You wanted to be up early enough to tell them both before Tara went to work for the day. Climbing into bed you expected a sleepless night but instead sleep came quickly and deeply. Perhaps because you were set in your resolve this time. You knew what you had to do and you were prepared to do it and deal with the consequences. That's what being an adult was about right? Dealing with the consequences of your choices rather than running from them or hiding from them in a bottle of liquor. When the morning came you dressed for work and collected your bags up, hauling them downstairs to the kitchen with you, Emily's face turning pale when she saw them.

"Y/N...."

"I have to Emily. It's just one year, and it's for Diana's sake.".

She echoed Luke's words from the other day. "Diana is stronger than you'd think Y/N."

"She might be. But what about the rest of the family? Spencer and JJ have lost their dad, Henry has lost his grandfather. I may not be a huge part of their family but me leaving for good would affect them all, even though JJ knows. I might not love Spencer or even like him very much but.... I'm actually scared that if I force him into divorcing me right now, that it will break him."

You hadn't expected the last sentence that left your mouth, hadn't even realised it was a concern until it had. But you knew that it was true. You were stronger now, you had the upper hand. You could deal with another year.

Emily glumly nodded and Tara rested her hand on her partners, squeezing it lightly. You placed the keys they had given you on the counter, sliding them over.

"Thank you both for everything you've done for me. I honestly don't know what I would have done without you."

"Y/N," It was Tara who spoke this time. "Keep the keys. If he ever hurts you, yells at you, makes you do anything you are uncomfortable with, come here. Anytime, night or day, that room will be ready for you. Do not think you don't have anywhere to go."

Knowing that if you spoke you would be more than likely to cry, you picked the keys up again and dropped them into the your bag. Emily smiled gratefully at her lover, before she swiped at her eyes and hopped off her stool.

"Right, none of us have to leave for work another hour or so, so let's have breakfast."

...

Work was long but still enjoyable. Kate had needed to attend a meeting at Meg's school which was why Grant had asked you to come in early. You helped him unload and packaway the delivery of new stock, him telling you where everything went and you mentally filing it away for the future. You finally met Erin as well, a middle aged woman who knew all the regulars by name and could almost always predict what they'd order.