Dear Diary

HIS SUPPORT

"Madhu I told you go to my office" RK almost shouted at her

She went to his office and broke in tears. Couldn't believe that she caused this little girl's death

After a half hour, RK entered his office. He saw Madhu was completely broken and divested

"Clam down Madhu. It is not your fault. Please relax" RK

"I killed her. She was living her life happy even she was dying" Madhu

"No you didn't kill her. You did what you thought is good for her. Come let's go home" RK

They both returned to their house. RK asked the servants to prepare lunch for them both. Madhu didn't want to eat.

"Madhu you can't blame yourself for what happened. You were right. Your entire fault that you let your emotion control you and your decisions. That is wrong in our job.

Yes, we care for our patient but we must control our feeling. Not to make it affect our medical opinion. Like I told you before. Everyone makes mistakes. We just must learn from it. And never do it again. Please calm down. I have important work at hospital and I can't leave you like that" RK

"I'm ok. You can go" Madhu wiped her tears

"Are you sure?" RK

"Yes. Don't worry about me. I'll be ok" Madhu

RK left to his hospital. When he returned to his house. He found the hall was empty and dark. He went upstairs to check on Madhu in her room. He knocked on her door and waited for her to open the door. She opened the door. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying all day. Her face was wet from tears. Her nose was red.

"Do you want anything?" Madhu said in very weak voice

"Yes I want to eat. I'm hungry" RK

"Ok I'm coming" Madhu

RK gave her way to go downstairs and prepare dinner for them. He went to freshen up then he went to the dining room

"Dinner is ready" Madhu was leaving for her room

"I will eat alone?" RK

"I'm not hungry" Madhu

"So I won't eat. And I didn't eat anything all day" RK

"Please RK eat your dinner" Madhu

"I can't eat alone" RK

Madhu remembered when she used to force him to eat with her and a small smile crawled up her lips. She sat down to eat with him.

After dinner, they both went to their rooms to sleep. But neither of them did. Madhu started to cry the moment she entered her room. And RK couldn't sleep knowing his wife was upset. After one hour, RK surrendered to his worry and went to check on her

"I will knock on her door lightly. If she is sleeping, I won't wake her up. But if she still awake, I can't leave her alone" He thought in his mind

When he reached her door, he heard concealed sops coming from her room. He knocked and opened the door.

"You still crying?" RK

"Sorry do you need anything else?" Madhu

"Yes" RK

"What?" Madhu

"I need you to stop crying and sleep you need to rest" RK

"I'm sorry. But every time I close my eyes I see her face. I can't believe she is dead. She was full of life and energetic little girl. She reminded me of Trishna. They both share the same name. And the same attitude" Madhu was crying

"I know it is hard for you. She is your first patient you lose. And she was so young. But you have to move on Madhu. You can't let it beat you.

She was one patient from many. If you let all your caring for one patient. Who will care for the others? You need to be strong. For your all patients not only one" RK

"I can't. I can't just forget her and move on" Madhu was in tears

"Look Madhu, our job is one of the hardest. Emotionally and physically. Being a good doctor is not just know which medicine for which disease. It is to be there for your patient whenever they need you. To be strong to help them go through their hardest times. To think clearly and give them the right and perfect solutions for their medical problems.

We can't do this if we involved emotionally in their cases. We must control our emotion to think clearly for what is good for them. They put their trust in us. To decide for them. We can't let them down.

Now you need to take a rest. You need to sleep. Because your patients need you tomorrow. To be there for them. To focus on their problems. To forget anything else but them and their problems" RK

Madhu nodded yes

"Go wash your face then sleep" RK

Madhu nodded yes. Then she looked at him with pleading eyes

"Will you stay with me till I sleep?" Madhu

"What?" RK didn't believe that she needed him to stay with her

"Please stay with me. I can't sleep alone tonight. If you just set beside me until I sleep" Madhu

"OK I'll stay" RK

She washed her face. Then she lied on her bed. RK sat beside her. Caressing her hair until she went in deep sleep. Then he left her to sleep in his room