Galaxy of Thoughts

So Hey

Sometimes I have to wonder if I'm alive, or if all this is just one big dream.

I also wonder how many hours I sit and stare into nothingness. I haven't been doing my school work, due to personal reasons.

So I just kind of do what I want. Tv, games, YouTube, boys, friends. I do it all.

Yet I'm still alone. I've got two good friends. One of which can drive. But she lies to me constantly about her whereabouts. I don't mind if she has other people she wants to hang with. Just let me know please. Like don't lie when I ask.

I have all her friends on Instagram and Snapchat. So it's not like I don't see where she is.

I've been blown off by two guys so far. And stuff like that used to matter to me. Now I just chuckle, give them the bird, and move on.

I'm not really looking for a relationship, just someone to hang out with. I thought about going back to public school. Decided against it tonight. I like it at home, where I feel safe. Where I don't have to worry about panic attacks.

I just wanna scream loudly. So maybe someone can hear me, but I feels as if my pleas fall deaf on ears.

Also for you newbies. My birthday is coming up. March 10!

So close, yet so far.

Kind of in the mood to ft someone. Kind of on the mood to punch someone. Kind of in the mood for cuddles. Kind of in the mood to cry. It's one melting pot of emotions.

Also I miss Kari a lot. I kind of ignored that she was gone for a while. But it keeps dawning on me how much time it will be before I hear her voice again. So yeah.

That's what I've got for right now. Don't know if I said. But I finally got Instagram. My parents let me have it. Also have Snapchat. Can't remember if I said that.