Galaxy of Thoughts

how does it feel

How it Feels

they ask how it feels
to feel your own flesh and blood leave your body
like it's something you'd want to share
most mommas would say painful, but happy nonetheless

but I say
it crushes every small bit of happiness that was once there
every hole you thought you'd filled now empty with sadness
how does it feel?

it feels like hell
like everything I earned has been stripped away
like the body I once loved is unbearable
so I sit and wait for my date

but the day came too early
and my own flesh and blood seeped out of me
but not as a whole
in small bits and pieces

everyone says sorry because they don't know what to say
everyone eventually forgets about that day
but not me who had to watch you leave
in bits and pieces

this is the second time my body has failed
but I am still a momma I will prevail
I will be strong for as long as I can
I'll see you in heaven but for now I stand

with bits of your flesh coating my hands
know that I love you
and I'm sorry for failing
i hope you see your brother too