I don't want to think of him. But, it was like, everything I'm doing right now is for him. Binalikan ko siya dito para tuloyan akong maka-move on, ika nga ni Jackson, I should face my past para tuloyang masabing naka-move on na nga.
He woke me up. Para akong nabubuhay ng patago. Three years I've been hiding from reality. Taking advantage of my Tita's kindness of keeping me in Korea kahit pa noo'y ayaw pa kong tustusan ni Papa.
"Why didn't you contact me, Nari? I was dying to know where you are. Erene shoved me away hanggang sa mag-aral nako ng medisina sa abroad." aniya habang naghihintay kami ng order namin.
Bumuntong hininga ako. "Stave... Alam mong matapang ako at palaban. But, I also have my weakness. I hid myself because I'm ashamed of myself." sagot ko.
"But I could have been there for you. Alam mong mahal kita, diba?" seryoso nitong sinabi.
Napakagat labi ako at tumungo. "Ayoko ng idamay ka."
"Damn it, Nari. Three years hindi kita nakita. Wala akong pakialam, three years ago, kahit anong gawin mo, damay parin ako. Ginawa ko ang lahat maipagtanggol ka lang sa kanila. If only you could have stayed and fight." mariin nitong sinabi.
"Nandito lang naman ako sa tabi mo." dugtong nito at naging mahinahon ang boses.
Gusto kong maluha sa sinabi niya. But, I remained strong. I don't want to be weak again.
"I'm sorry, Staven. I'm sorry." yun lang ang tanging nasabi ko, full of sincerity.
"Anong plano mo ngayon?" tanong ni Staven habang kumakain na kami.
"Internship sa Montañez Group Hospital. After Papa's wedding babalik rin akong Korea." sagot ko.
"Your Papa is getting married?" gulat nitong tanong.
"Mmm. I'll meet her tonight sa Laguna. Nasa family vacation daw ang magpamilya."
"May pamilya narin ang mapapangasawa ng Papa mo?"
Nagkibit balikat ako. "Siguro, hindi ko lang alam kung hiwalay o byuda. Pero ang alam ko ay may mga anak."
"Ikaw, kamusta kana? After three years?" tanong ko sa kaniya.
He sighed heavily. "I was fine... I guess. I tried forgetting you, Nari. I met an amazing person, she's pretty much like you. Nerd." anito at ngumisi.
I rolled my eyes. "So? Who's this girl?"
"Susaine Wilson. She's already a doctor. Fresh graduate."
I don't know why I feel happy while watching Staven talked about this certain girl in abroad. Nakakatuwa dahil mukhang tinamaan na siya ulit. I'm glad about it. It's so funny that we could have been something, but we didn't end up together.
Hinawakan ni Staven ang kamay ko kaya nagulat ako. "I'm happy that I saw you again, Narian. Now, my heart feels at east and I felt like I already closed my heart." anito.
Alam ko ang ibig sabihin ni Staven. Maybe he already moved on and the only thing his heart wants was to see me again so he could have a closure. A mental closure for himself.
Siguro ito nga ang sinasabi ni Jackson na kailangan kong gawin. Ang harapin ang tinakasang nakaraan para tuloyan ng isarado ito at harapin ang panibagong kabanata ng buhay.
Right. The only thing for me to have my peaceful life back is to face those damn people who made my life a living hell. Maybe if I could get there apology, magiging maayos ako.
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