Corrupted

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

“I’m tired of feeling alone.”

 

Eight months ago, I never imagined myself here. Leaving it all behind was hard, but I made it. It’s been a year since Derek’s death. When I tried to tell my friend’s the rocking chair was a sign, they kept telling me I was still in denial. I was afraid they would send me back to therapy, so I never spoke of it again.

I haven’t had a panic attack in six months, which is a huge accomplishment and everyone was so proud they’re letting me pick the next location to travel too. Right now we’re in Louisville, KY. We figured we’d try another city, though we all love the ocean. We’re leaving within the next few days for New York.

But right now, we’re all in the city park with a cake. Ashton is turning twenty one! Stella just turned twenty a few weeks ago. I’m the young one: three months past nineteen. Erin turns twenty one in six months.

Stella slaps a piece of cake in Ashton’s face, smearing it all over him, making him glare. “Oh, quit pouting,” she teases.

“I hate you,” he mumbles.

Something flickers in her eyes, as if she’s remembering when they actually did hate each other three years ago. I know that’s a trigger for her—the only trigger she has for anything, but it’s still there. Thinking back to that, just makes her get depressed instantly; no one really knows why. I want to step in, but there’s nothing I can do, so I just stay silent.

Ashton glances at her and guilt washes over him instantly. He whispers “shit” to himself, but not loud for anyone to hear; just able to see his mouth move. He throws his arms around her, kissing her sloppily on the lips, rubbing the cake from his face to hers. “Baby, you know I love you,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. He nudges his nose against hers.

She finally smiles. “I love you too.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I was joking.”

“Ash, its fine.”

“No… I know how it upsets you.”

I tune them out when Erin throws an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to her side. She smiles at me, so I smile back but I know she has an alternative motive. “You okay?”

There it is. “Yes.”

“Dylan…”

I sigh. “It’s just the one year anniversary is all.” I shrug and look back at Ashton who’s staring at me. “Happy birthday,” I cheer, hoping he didn’t hear me talking to her, but I know he did.

“Thanks…” He trails off with his eyes darting around. “Want to swing?”

I nod with a grin and jump up. We race to the swings and flood them, challenging each other on who can go higher, faster. Erin and Stella watch us from the picnic table with smiles plastered on their faces. Even though it’s been a year, making Derek’s death seem more real, I smile at the idiot next to me and laugh uncontrollably when he tumbles out of the swing and onto the ground.

We spend most of the night at the park, until we decide to get some food. After that, Ashton graffiti’s a wall, claiming his love for Stella or something terribly cliché like that. She giggled and gave him a huge kiss, so I’m assuming it worked; probably something else that links them to their past.

Now, it’s 10 at night and we’re heading for New York tomorrow. My thoughts are beginning to drown me, so I hop out of the van and look over at Stella, sitting in the grass, looking awfully pale. She looks over at me and smiles and I hold my breath as the moon pours onto her face. God, if I were straight…