Love and Hamburgers [Rick and Liz Saga, Season 1]

[S01E21] "The Downside of Downshifting"

"I..." Liz stammered. "God, how do I even say this?"

Rick peered away from the road. In his experience, when a woman was at a loss for word words, it meant she was about to say something unpleasant, but Rick valued truth over the continuity of a relationship, so he didn't try to stop her or change the subject.

"Just say it," said Rick, "I can take it. I doubt that it's anything I haven't heard before."

"Don't be so sure about that," said Liz.

"What are you going to tell me, that you're gay or something and you were just experimenting? Because I've heard that one before. You can just skip to the end."

"What?" Liz exclaimed, "No! I mean, not that there's anything wrong with being gay, but no, not even close. Can you stop being an ass for a second so I can tell you something?"

Rick laughed.

"Okay then," he said, "what is it?"

"Promise me you won't freak-out," said Liz.

"You're not filling me with a lot of confidence here," said Rick, "you better just get on with it."

Liz paused for a moment, "Okay, you may have noticed that I drink quite a lot..."

"No more than anyone else I know," said Rick.

"Well, more than people I know," said Liz, "more than I want to."

"Okay," said Rick, "So what does that mean? You want to go to a meeting or something?"

"I don't think they have meetings for this," said Liz.

"LA has a meeting for just about anything," said Rick, "Usually people don't wind up there voluntarily, but they're open to everyone..."

"I see things, Rick"

"What? When you're drinking?"

"No," said Liz, "when I'm sober."

"What kind of things? Like leprechauns or something?" Rick Laughed again.

Liz gave a roundhouse punch into Rick's up arm hard enough to make the car veer into the other lane.

"Hey!" Rick cried.

"Will you be serious for a moment please?" Liz asked.

"Like my life depended on it," said Rick.

"I see the future," said Liz.

Rick was silent for a moment. Liz figured he was hatching a plan to ditch her at the next rest stop.

"So then," said Rick, "how's our future looking?"

"I don't know," said Liz.

"So, not so good then, eh?"

"No. 'I don't know' means I don't know." Liz said, "It's not something I can aim in any particular direction. I mean, sometimes, but only like, in an emergency."

"So how does it work then?"

"It just kind of happens, I'll see something and it comes to me, like a memory, but it's from the future instead of the past." Said Liz. "Like the tornado. I saw that happening with both of us in the car. But that's the thing with it. Once I see it, it can't be changed, it's set in stone. Then when it happens, it's ... it's hard to describe. It's kind of like watching a rerun of your own life. You know how it ends, so you're just along for the ride."

Rick had to take a moment with this one. This sort of thing wasn't exactly Rick's wheelhouse. He had seen some crazy things in his time between living in LA and traveling around the country, but he was no expert on paranormal powers, psychiatry, or anything else that seemed like it would help out in this sort of situation.

"Uh-huh," Rick managed to get out finally, "so... the drinking?"

"It turns it off," said Liz, "I've pretty much been getting drunk since I was fifteen."

"Well, that's not so bad," said Rick, "I've been pretty much drunk since I was thirteen, for other reasons obviously." Rick played piano on the steering wheel. "You know, the world's a big place, you can't be the only one with this problem. I mean, I don't know what to tell you, but I'm sure when we get to LA we can find you like a support group for psychics or something."

"I don't think that's a thing."

"Like I said before, LA has a meeting for everything."

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?" Liz asked.

"No more than anyone else," said Rick. He glanced over at Liz and saw his joke didn't go over as well as he hoped, he quickly scrambled to recover. "I mean, sure, you see the future. Why not? You know? The brain is a mysterious thing. I doesn't matter what I believe. If you think that's true, then I'm going to take your word for it."

"You do think I'm crazy..." Liz pouted.

"Not at all. I say go with it. We should take it out to the dog track or maybe start a psychic hotline. Madame Liz, seer of future stuff!" Rick said as he waved his hands across the windshield to simulate the presence of a marque. Liz let out a bit of a chuckle.

"Let me guess," Liz said, "with musical accompaniment by the Kilted Cowboy?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who can see the future, you tell me!" Rick laughed.

She flung herself across his chest and began to kiss him all over his face with cartoonish pecks. Rick started to squirm and laugh.

"Okay, Okay!" Rick said veering into the wrong lane again. "I love you too, but can you save it until we get out of the car?"