Dean Winchester Imagines

liability p2

Warnings;swearing angst.

“Was she on a hunt?” Sam asked, gently handling a cup of tea and setting it before Jody. Dean had yet to move away from his spot on the couch that rested a few feet away from you. The sun was beginning to creep over the quaint houses of Sioux Falls.

“Not that I know of. I’ve had other hunters try and keep an eye out for her since you two notified me that she left – but no one had seen her, much less known what she was doing.”

Dean tried desperately to tune out the conversation, knowing it would bring nothing more than guilt and a heavy hurt and he wasn’t sure how much more of that he could take. God, but what had you been doing all these weeks since he had last seen you? He had retraced every trick he had taught you, thinking it would help him track you down. But somehow you had managed to take yourself completely off the grid, that was, until now.

A soft groan had the room stand sill, everyone holding their breaths as they turned to watch your now restless form on the sofa. Dean watched with horror as he realized what was being said in your agitated state of rest.

“Please, Dean. D-Dean! Don’t make m-me go… No! Dean!” The screams that escaped your lips were enough to have the Winchesters up and out of their seats, for the first time rushing towards your side and trying all that they could to calm you down.  It wasn’t until he saw clear tracks drip down the side of your face that he realized he was crying. Gently threading his fingers into your hair and soothingly brush it away from your face, did your whimpers begin to subside, as if the familiar gesture calmed you down.

Sam tried desperately not to say anything, knowing that Dean would refuse to listen to anyone at this point. Both Claire and Jody watched in shock at what had happened. How did everything get this bad?

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. God I’m so sorry,” Dean murmured against your temple, taking all of his self-control to get a grip of himself and not lose it. His banged up leg was screaming in protest at the pressure he was now putting on it as he kneeled next to you, but nothing mattered other than your comfort.

*   *   *   *   *

“Why is it that every time a hunt goes wrong, you somehow manage to make it even worse?” He snarled, slamming the tumbler of whiskey on to the cold table top, eyes ablaze. You could feel yourself flinch, knowing that this was going to go from bad to worse in a matter of seconds.

“Dean, I’m sorry, okay? You couldn’t have honestly expected me to stay back and let both you and Sam be tortured!” You knew yelling back wasn’t going to fix anything, but god you couldn’t help yourself. Not when he was accusing you of being reckless. “I’ve hunted for just as long as you have so don’t you tell me that I made it worse when you didn’t even have a plan to get out of there in the first place!”

Dean shoved the chair away from him, making it scrape awfully against the bunker floor. Sam had made himself scarce as soon as he saw his brother head to the kitchen and come back with the strong liquor. And now you wish you had done the same.

“You’re such a… a burden, Y/N! A fucking liability, you know that? God you would have thought that after over 2 and a half decades of hunting you would have realized that we were there to get the victims out! But you had to go a play a damn hero.”

It felt as if he had punched you in the gut himself. Never had he said such a thing to you, not in the many years you had known him. A liability? God, for how long did he think that? You bit your bottom lip hard, trying with all your might to stop the wobble that threatened to break your fierce stare. Of course you should have known though. The Winchesters were too good of hunters for you to ever have to play hero. And luckily with Sam’s quick thinking, he had managed to get the victims out while you and Dean dealt with the werewolves.

“I’m- I’m a liability?” Your voice cracked, betraying your steely resolve. Yet Dean did not waver. His stare harsh and cold. Wasn’t it just a few days ago that the two of you were sitting together watching a John Wayne movie? Laughing at ridiculous memories? What the hell had happened since then?

“I want you gone by the time morning comes. You hear? I can’t hunt with someone, much less live with someone who can’t think about anyone but themselves.”

Quickly reaching out, you gripped his wrist, preventing him from leaving.

“Dean what the hell is going on? You’re kicking me out? I’m your goddamn bestfriend!”

“You have 6 hours till sunrise, Y/N.”

“Dean!” Immediately a sob escaped your throat, you hadn’t even realized you were crying in the first place, much less the fact that your knees had buckled underneath you. “Please, Dean, don’t do this. Whatever’s wrong, whatever happened – I can fix it! D-don’t make me go, please! Dean!” No amount of begging would stop the Winchester from leaving you there in the War Room and retreating to his own, and it was as if he had ripped you to shreds right before his very eyes, as if he had performed only the worst of tortures on you. Dean Winchester left you there on the cold floor, alone and confused.

Maybe he just needed time. Maybe you would leave and stay at the motel in town until he was ready to talk. It’s fine, Y/N. Get up. Dust yourself off and give the two of you some space, everything will be fine, you chanted to yourself.

But oh how wrong you were.

You quickly jolted upright, desperately trying to shake away the awful memory away. The bright light of day was incredibly disorienting as your eyes adjusted, how long were you out? Quickly looking around the familiar living room, you found Jody sitting on the floor next to you, gently smiling as she watched you adjust to your surroundings.

“How long was I asleep for?” Your voice sounded awful from not being used in what felt like forever, you winced at the hoarseness of it.

“A little over a day, you were exhausted. Do you want something to eat, honey?” The thought of food was revolting, minutely shaking your head you tried to force yourself up. “Hey, hey, take it easy.”

“I need to get going, I’m so sorry for crashing at your place the way I did, but I really just – “

You felt him before you saw him. For as long as you could remember it had been that way, as if you had a sixth sense for the eldest Winchester and his proximity to you. And this time it was no different. You didn’t have time to glare at Jody before he walked into your line of sight, or rather limped.

He looked like hell, but you were certain that you weren’t that far off in comparison.

“Hey, sweetheart,” He tried to smile at you, yet the cold hollow stare he was met with was enough for him to waver. “How are you feeling?”

“She called you as soon as I got here, didn’t she? I should have known better,” You scoffed, throwing the blanket off of you and trying to desperately to get out of the damn house.

“Y/N, please just –“

“Oh so now you get to beg and say please? Why you here, Winchester? You’re the one that fucking wanted me to leave in the first place,” The sneer that took over your sunken face was enough for Sam, Claire and Jody to look away in uneasiness. “You’re the one that said I was a shitty hunter, that you couldn’t trust me. I’m selfish, remember?”

“Y/N-“

“You said I was a goddamn liability! Remember that! Remember saying that Dean? My best friend of over 20 years thinks I am a fucking liability. Wanna know what the feels like?” It was as if something had snapped inside of you, the weeks of walking around and feeling nothing but a void was catching up to you and crashing over you like a tsunami. “It feels like no reason to keep on fighting, Dean.”