Heir of Fire and Ice

Falling apart

Elentiya loved spending time with Riki, but she just wished that Riki would be a little more reliable. She was never on time, which they had laughed about, but she now found it deeply annoying. It wasn't that Riki wouldn't show up or wasn't happy to see her; she just couldn't keep track of time. Elentiya always ensured that she was on time, if not early, just because of how cruel being late seemed. So much of her time was wasted waiting for Riki now, that she had taken to carrying homework around with her.

To say that it didn't annoy her would be a lie. Elentiya had tried talking to Riki, but it just wasn't getting through. Listen to me, she wanted to scream. Riki always seemed to spin it to her own advantage. She still cared, was still the same person, but it was like she didn't realise how late she really was, how long Elentiya had been waiting. It was like Riki wasn't making an effort. She had come to Torre Cesme not to become a healer, but to escape the responsibility of being Lady Rikissaenie. Then on finding more responsibility here, of a different kind, she tried to avoid it. Didn't really care.

Did that mean she didn't care about Elentiya? She did care, in her own way, but not enough to make an effort. But then, maybe she did. Gods - this was just so confusing. Was it meant to be like this? In her heart, she knew the answer.

...

Riki really was trying. It wasn't her fault, she was just under so much pressure. Her father wanted her to come home an was sending increasingly angry letters. Her teachers gave her extra homework and detention for being late to class, which had only happened because of other teachers scolding her for being late after classes. And on top of that, she had her father's extra lessons to do. She hadn't told 'Tiya simply because she seemed so organised and always seemed to be able to keep up with everything they had to do, as well as the lessons every morning on the Old Language, which were, frankly, much too early. She had hoped that she would learn to be like that, too, but there was just much more freedom here. You had to manage your own time, so unlike the institutionalised fortress that was home.

"Hello, 'Tiya!" She panted, skidding into the room they used for the Old Language. 

"Listen, Riki," 'Tiya said in the Common Tongue.

"Sorry I'm late!"

"Yes, but why?" The gold in her eyes shifted to flame. She looked, for the first time, truly scary. "Why? You always say "sorry", but that's not good enough! I don't want "sorry"! I want it to never happen again! So why, Riki? Why are you so late?"

"Oh, no reason..." She said, attempting nonchalance. Pretending she wasn't scared.

"There you go again - ignoring me! Listen to me, and tell me why, exactly, you are always so late!"

"Well it's not my fault - my father keeps piling on more work and sending letters trying to get me to go home, and I stay up till five just doing all of it! Then I sleep in and teachers give me more work for being late, and keep me in at the end, making me late to the next! And. I. Just. Can't. Handle. It."

"But, Riki, why didn't you tell me?" The fire in her eyes is gone, replaced by water. Even now, she still cares about me. 

"Because you're just so good at it! All of it! You're made for this - you just blossom anywhere. I could throw you into a den of assassins and at the end of it, they'd all love  you, and do whatever you said!"

"But I'm not. I find it hard, too. May not look it, but I am still part human. I find it hard too. I can help you, just let me. Please..." She's so much better than me at this. She can make people talk to her. Heal not only the wounds on the outside but those none can see as well. I used to love it, but now its frustrating.

"Just stop! You can't heal everything, everyone! So just stop trying! It's futile, anyway."

"You're wrong. It's not pointless. Everyone I help, they don't think it was pointless. I didn't have anyone to heal me, not like that. So I want to make sure no one else is like that. What's futile about that?" She has lain herself bare for me. Completely. I feel almost bad for shattering it all.

"Yes it is. And so are you. You try so hard, so just stop. Before it hurts you. You aren't enough - can't possibly help everyone! Give up now, while you still can!"

"Get. Out." Too far - she'd gone too far.

"'Tiya, I'm sorry. I didn't mean all of that."

"Yes. You do. Now. Get. Out!" It ends in a shriek. Riki had ruined it all. This was her fault. The girl in front of her, clearly falling apart. And her own shattering heart. She turned before she could do any more damage.