District 4 has never had a shortage of victors. It’s got less than District Two or District One, but probably more than the others. At least enough that after 25 years I’d think they’d replace me. Question: How many avoxes does a person have to kill before the Capitol finally stops bringing said person back to mentor tributes again? Answer: Not sure because I’m still here, but I know it’s higher than ten. Also, it would appear that the Capitol could care less about the avoxes dying. Shocker there. Year after year, they brought me back and no matter how much I begged or showed my disinterest to mentoring, I couldn’t leave.
They have me continue to mentor, even with my...questionable sanity. They must be really desperate to have me here, because even with that they go extra measures to make sure I don’t snap and kill anyone, besides the occasional mute servant. I get my own room, I don’t have to be in one with the other mentors and sponsors, and they take precautions. Like trying to remove all possible weapons, which’ll never work. I always keep a knife with me, it probably isn’t the brightest idea. But the Games have engraved plenty of things onto me, one being the eerie feeling that it’s not over, two being nightmares, as well as the part of me that always feels like someone else is about to kill me.
The other victors in District 4 don’t get that feeling, they’re always confident, boasting and prideful. That was supposed to be me. I was supposed to be just like them, that’s what I went into the games for in the first place. The glory, showing my parents that I was good enough to be watched. When I came back, that all was thrown away, as soon as my head began to mess everything up. I’m a pathetic excuse for a victor, I know that, all of District 4 knows that. Sure I may be better off than the lower district people who have resulted to alcohol and morphine, but I’m not as good as the career victors. What I’m supposed to be.
I hope that Nadia isn’t like me when she wins, because she’s so much like me now. When I had mentored her this year, she reminded me of me. The same personality, the same determination. Hopefully the finals won’t mess her up, like they did me. I watch the screen, as the camera pans over the remaining three tributes. They’re near each other and soon enough more blood will be spilt. Behind me, I can hear the door open, and before I can turn my head to see who in their right mind would ever come to visit me, everything goes black.
I’m back in my games, just after all the tributes had gotten the medicine. Just like after the feast we dispersed but no one got far. It didn’t take long for two of the others to die, and as soon as the cannons boomed and the faces flashed in the sky, I knew and Starling and Evelyn knew, it was the finals. Just three of us left, a career, a twelve year old girl, and a once knocked up teenager. I laughed, I hadn’t moved since I had taken the medicine and a lot of my strength had been sapped, due to the fact that it had been a tiring couple days, filled with hell after hell after hell. Yet I laughed… because the other two finalists were such easy pickings, who probably would’ve died much earlier on if I had ever come across of them. I was surprised that I wasn’t fighting against the other careers, but they had died long ago. I guess they were just too weak.
Quickly after I stopped laughing I got up, and searched for the first tribute. My feet were loud against the ground and weren’t the best for stealth, whoever I was going to kill first was going to hear me. It didn’t matter, because their deaths were inevitable no matter the volume of my footsteps. I hadn’t expected for Evelyn to come running at me. There was a determined look in her eyes, she was confident, she was prepared. She was ready to win this, to bad I was in the way. Starling was quite close too, in my vision but made no movements towards me. So Evelyn would be the one to die first. As she came towards me, I tripped her and she fell to the ground flat on her face. Immediately she got up, and punched me, I stepped back but tripped over some of the rubble of the mall. Where all of this was taking place, right near the cornucopia. Cursing I immediately got up, hoping not much of Panem would notice that I just did that, in the finals. Of course they would. Evelyn was nearing closer, and grabbing my knife I charged at her, preparing myself to plunge my knife into her throat, she got closer, and I…