Orphic | •Will Byers X Reader•

Reformation to Reach the Destination

Will had left.

It had been a long two hours of Mike and Will biking around town, Will happy and Mike on edge. Yet you, you were home alone at Mike's crying, confused and feeling a thousand other emotions that you possibly couldn't find any names for.

The second Mike came home he smashed the front door open and started to call your name, you squeezed your fist to reveal that you were sat in the exact same place where he left you.

Mike collapsed on the stairs next to you and cradled you close.

You did nothing but cry about how you couldn't see how this was going to play out, how tired you were of feeling anxious all the time, how sometimes you would cry so easily but other times when you wanted to cry nothing would come out, how you would make up different stories and do different things everyday but somehow you managed to link them all back to Will, you were crying about how sometimes you wanted to be really strong yet other times you just wanted to cry out for help and attention - When really, you backtracked and said how this was your fault and It was really Will who need the help and you fucked everything up by having that moment of weakness nine months ago and freaking out by whatever it was to do with Will.

You kept going on about this for what seemed like hours, and the more you let out, the more Mike held you closer - as if he was trying to replenish all the emotion and energy that you had let out.

But the more you let out, you never really felt relieved, only more confused, upset, angry, scared. Yet you still kept talking.

You couldn't see clearly, you couldn't find any answer in order to make things right, the only tiny thing that you could see would be that everything would just keep going on like this forever. Tip-toeing around, getting stronger then relapsing, emotions and mindsets changing faster than light and wanting to snap so that something would happen. But you were scared of what "snapping" would actually... mean.

Eventually, you got tired again. You had tried to explain your best to Mike how you were feeling, although the word feeling seemed to cover so, so little. You realised that your words didn't fully convey what you wanted them to - it all seemed to fall short and seemed too shallow. Mike didn't have any words for you, you weren't sure anything he could say would make a difference anyhow. It was just nice for Mike to simply be there listening and holding you.

However there was one thing that he did say after a few moments of silence, he felt like something needed to be said to tie this in a knot - for your sake.

He cleared his throat, "I think, that you're trying to play a game and make all the right moves to beat, or-or protect Will? And maybe even try and beat yourself somehow, at the same time. And you've made all these well thought out, maybe even overthought, decisions that are so delicate that you don't know what to do anymore. An,d I may be wrong, but I'm just guessing, but it looks as if you may be at a stalemate. And, I also think that you, y/n, have too much self-control and you may need to let go of a bit of it for a while and play a dangerous move, something borderline crazy - flip the board. Make a scene, scream - shout because you've been quiet, careful, you've cried, you've been polite, considerate, tired etc but you haven't really, fully, flipped. That might be the only way to release something and move forwards - If you get what I mean" 

You looked up at Mike and he looked down at you, "I mean, I know that my advice only scratches the surface and it goes a lot deeper for you and that may not have been the deep and enriching epiphany that you needed, or wanted, but you are you and only you really know how twisted and deep your feelings go. I mean, cut yourself a bit of slack, you don't exist just for Will and even though that's all you may want to be right now just remember that that isn't the end of it for you, also, it's obvious that maybe you have something that needs to be checked out and sorted out as well. You were created to help Will, but that isn't where the line is drawn, is it?"