Sin

28 | The Twenty Eighth Chapter

The Twenty Eighth Chapter - Happy Again.

.

.

.

I spent that night with Mum. I felt so bad for her in this whole thing; she had no idea what was going on, that her kids were being threatened and attacked. If she found out, she would find a way to blame herself, despite it clearly being Dad's fault, but still. I hated lying to her. She's the reason I was able to get away from him, and in return, I was keeping her in the dark. It was better she didn't know anything, but it still hurt nonetheless.

"Your friends really are lovely, River," Mum mused, giving me a cute smile from across the room. We were sitting on either end of the couch, with our feet tucked up beneath us and a big mug of coffee and ice-cream in both our hands. I scrunched up my nose in response, looking down at my spoon with a small frown crossing my eyebrows.

"Eh, they're okay," I mumbled, sticking a scoop of coffee-coated ice-cream in my mouth and sloshing it around. "Not weally fwends anymore," I added with my mouth full.

"Didn't seem like you weren't friends when they came to check on you when they were worried about you," Mum replied with an eyebrow arched. "Why do you keep pushing these people away? They clearly care about you."

"If they cared about me," I scoffed, "they wouldn't be keeping secrets from me."

"You don't trust easy, I know," Mum sighed, reaching a hand out to rest comfortingly on my leg. She gave me a sad smile. "Honey... I know what happened with Klaus caused a lot of issues for you, and I'm so sorry I didn't prepare you for that. But it's in the past, River. Not everyone you let your guard down to is going to leave you, whether intentional or not. You are allowed some happiness, sweetheart, I promise. You deserve it."

I felt myself tearing up at my mum's words, but didn't trust my voice enough not to betray me so I just shuffled over and cuddled into her, breathing in her scent and feeling safe.

"I love you so much, Mum," I mumbled into the fabric of her soft woollen jumper. "Thank you. But Klaus wasn't your fault, you do know that, right?"

"It wasn't your fault either, River," Mum replied, wrapping her left arm around me and squeezing my arm gently. "You carry so much baggage. Just let go and live, yeah? Then I can say I've been successful as a mum."

I smiled up at her, letting out a dramatic sigh at the same time. "Oh, I suppose I could do that. Just for you, though."

She smiled sadly at me. "I mean it, darling. I don't know what's going on with you lately; you've been so distant. You need to share your burdens, love. If not with me, then with these friends of yours that clearly care about you so much." She paused, as if rethinking her next words. "I just want you to understand that you deserve every happiness in this world. If you let yourself love again, you won't be disappointed."

"But I might be," I argued, frowning down at my spoon as I suddenly lost my appetite for coffee and cream. "What if I let myself l- love again," I stumbled on my words, "but just get hurt again?"

"The risk is better than being lonely for the rest of your life, honey. I don't want you to end up like me. Please don't end up like me."

I looked up at Mum and felt the force of her words slam into me, tears suddenly prickling at my eyes. I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I felt awful. But I knew what she meant, and I knew what I had to do.

I had to let go.