Thirty-One Letters

Eight

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love.  The only cure for grief is to grieve—Earl Grollman

"You're gonna do great out there," he said.  "Everyone else should be worried."

Hadley shifted her weight, unable to stand still even as Tanner attempted to give her one of his famous pep talks.  Normally she made a point to listen with rapt attention but today her eyes kept getting pulled away towards the water.  It was a good day for surfing, the conditions just right.  The wind was blowing in an off-shore pattern, creating large waves with big barrel potential.

Along the wide expanse of Wrightsville beach, people were stretched for what seemed like miles.  It was the day of the state meet and the competition was going to be tough.  Hadley recognized most of the surfers in her category preparing for their heats that would take place every twenty-to-thirty minutes.  She'd entered many surf competitions, and won many trophies, before but none were as important as this one. 

Today, there were sponsors in the crowd and if her dream to be a professional surfer was ever to be realized, then this was her first real step in achieving it.  A sponsor could change everything.  She would have to do well enough to make sure that at least one took note of her.  If they did, it would open up the door for her to enter more national competitions, travel across the country to compete and one day make it to the minor, and hopefully in time the major, circuits.

"Hadley?  Are you listening to me?"

She looked to her brother and away from the waves.  The first heat in her category was about to begin.  She was in the third.  "No, sorry."

Tanner smiled understandingly.  "Look, you've got no reason to be worried.  Okay?  You're one of the highest-ranked amateur surfers in the state.  Don't panic.  When your heat comes, you're gonna paddle out and wait for the good waves.  You don't want to get caught in the impact zone, right?  You want to paddle out past that and wait for one of the big waves.  You only have twenty minutes and your best two waves get scored.  Don't waste your time fighting for the little waves."

"Right," Hadley nodded as the horn sounded and the first heat began.  She watched her competition paddle out.  "Avoid the impact zone."

"Remember your technique and make sure to show off all of your best tricks."

"Tanner?"

"Yeah?"

Hadley licked at her dry lips and knelt on the ground.  She flipped her board over, rechecking that the finbox and fin were still securely in place and then turned it so that she could make sure the leash was attached firmly.  The last thing she wanted to do was lose her board in the water.  No one would want to sponsor her if that happened.  She'd already waxed her board and she fretted nervously, wanting to keep her hands busy so that she didn't panic.

"What if—" she got ready to voice her fears.

"Stop," he instructed.  He gave her a hard blazing look but his eyes were warm and his mouth curved in a small fierce smile.  Tanner brushed his hand through his sun-brightened blond hair.  Everything about him was more than familiar and having him by her side was relaxing, especially as he ordered, "Breathe."

Somewhere in the crowd were their parents, waiting to cheer her on as they always did before a meet.  But here, in the minutes before she was due to step foot in the water, the only person Hadley wanted by her side was her twin.