crucio ↠ billy hargrove

015

Location: West Hollywood, California, 1980

-BILLY-

I don't recall when I returned from the party. I assume 11 or 12 a.m. My head feels light and I feel the urge to throw up. That girl left me once I was downing my third drink. I don't remember what I did at the party, it all feels like a blur to me. I ended my last drink and I stumbled back home, but on the way there I stopped and I threw up on the street. The street was quiet and no one seemed to have their lights on.

I get to the door and the door is locked. I knock loud. Within a few seconds, my dad opens the door. He looked furious but I could care less. "Where were you?" he asked.

"Somewhere." I laughed. I tried walking past him, but he pushed me back. "You're drunk. Where were you?"

"I weeeeent to someee..parr-ty." I slurred. "And who gave you permission to go to a party?" he asked.

"Uh.." I pointed at him but then I laughed and instead pointed at myself. I can do what I want.

"Get to bed, you're grounded," he commanded. I shook my head. "You can't make me."

"That means you don't get to go anywhere for two weeks and I want you all caught up in your homework," he explained. I can't help but laugh again. "Soo..who's gonna take Max out for her skateboard lessons?" I replied.

"She can go by herself."

"Eh...I don't know. I don't think Susan will like that very much, her 9/10 however old she is going to the park without supervision and if something bad happens to Max well I guess we can go back to Hawkins." I smirked.

"Look, I know you're still angry at me for making that phone call and moving here. But she was too dangerous and I was only trying to protect you. And while you're grounded, then Max can't go skateboard,"

"Protect me?! I knew you hated her from the moment you set eyes on her. I hate you for everything you have done in my life. You ruined my life. I wish you would go away and let me live my life! Everything I do is always never enough for you. You literally told me I was an accident a few months ago, you've ignored me ever since we got here and now you're telling me the reason you called the Lab to send Lottie away was to protect me?! Damn, dad of the year, give it up. Now can you please get out of my fucking way so I can go sleep."

He looked at me and he doesn't say a thing. He turned around and went back to his bedroom.

September 4, 1980

Dear Lottie,

Dad grounded me. I had my first drink of alcohol a few days ago. I feel disappointed in myself. I woke up feeling like crap. Max is angry at me for not being able to go out and skateboard. She's getting annoying each and every day. I wish she'd stop talking for a day. This is a really short entry and letter only because I don't know what I'm feeling right now.

I hate myself. I hate who I am. I wish I was able to leave my house and never return. I still don't understand why I'm still writing these letters, you'll never read them so..why bother wasting paper?

-this is all I've got, love, Billy

word count; 592