You'll Always Have Me (Norminah)

Chapter 38

Normani's POV

I told myself I was gonna be a responsible adult and take time out from everything by making an appointment for therapy. But instead I went back to my room after a shower and have been sitting on my computer in bed for the past couple minutes. I guess you could say that the depression got me again and it's slowly pulling me in.

"Are you going to therapy today babe?" Dinah says as she tucks her work shirt in.

"No." I told her, not even looking up.

"What do you mean by that? You said you-"

"I don't want to go to therapy Dinah! I don't want to drag this back up! I don't want to remember it and I don't want to sit for an hour talking about it either." I cut her off. I am definitely not in the mood.

"So what do you want then? Hmm?" She questioned clearly getting pissed but I really didn't care right now.

"I just want to stay in my bed until  it goes away." I respond.

"If you don't go then I'm checking you into a mental hospital 'cause I'm not risking it Mani, I swear."

"W-what? N-you can't do that! I'm not a fucking nutcase!" I was shocked. I wasn't expecting her to say that at all.

"I didn't say that you are!"

"But I don't need to go there... I'm not crazy, I'm fine!" By this, the neighbors were probably hearing everything.

"You're not fooling anyone." She laughed at my statement.

"Fuck you Dinah!"

"I'm gonna go. I have tables to clean." She slammed the door and left just before the tears came. I slammed the laptop shut in anger as I cried.

-

I sat in the same spot in a daze the whole morning fiddling with my fingers, whose colors are chipped and in desperate need of new ones. I've been thinking about our argument this morning and realized how stupid I can be sometimes. Dinah just wants the best for me but here I am pushing her away. But what can I say, I'm an expert at and it makes sense to me in some strange way.

For quite some time throughout this, my wrists have been scratching at me. This feeling isn't new to me. I've felt it many times before but it's just that I'm scared of what it can turn into after just one time. I've been holding it for hours now and I'm feeling it slowly dissipate. Me chewing off the remaining polish from my fingers helped I feel.

Dinah's POV

I left the house with so many emotions and a lot to say that I'm still in my car outside of work after arriving quite some time now. I've been out here so long my boss came outside to look for me.

"You're late Dinah." He said at my window.

"I know and I'm sorry." I apologized. He made his way over to the passenger side and took a seat in my car.

"What's popping?" He asked, trying to sound like us kids these days.

"Normani and I had a fight this morning." I explained everything and maybe got a little too personal but what the heck. After listening patiently, he spoke up.

"It’s important not to force treatment on your partner. You can assist and support, but you can’t coerce her to do anything. If she refuse to get help, then you’re welcome to reassess whether or not you can remain supportive or stay in the relationship, which I know you will because I see how much you love her, but she need to decide for herself how and when to get help." He gathered his thoughts before speaking some more.
"You can help remind her to take medicine or write in a journal or whatever she does, but that doesn’t make it your responsibility. You can encourage her to go to therapy, but Normani also need to be able to take care of herself at some point. This isn’t something you need to enforce because you want to be callous or cruel, but rather because if you’re on the hook for Normani's entire recovery, you’ll burn out and then you’ll both be miserable. You can be a loving partner, but if you’re not supporting each other equally, it can breed resentment." He continued. You definitely shouldn't judge a book by its cover. Seeing him you wouldn't have guessed he's a businessman, yet alone for him to have so much wise things to say; maybe it's from experience.

"Oh and Dinah, I won't be hard on you as much. You're a good worker, take whatever time you need to take care of yourself and her. Family is important anyway."

"Wow. Thanks Mr. Matthews I appreciate everything." I shook his hand. He reciprocated and went back on the inside.

Feeling like I needed the time for myself now, I sent a quick text to the girls in a group text telling them I won't be there today. Starting the car, I thought of a place I could go. A nagging feeling of wanting to be somewhere to release some of the tension I have built up came over me.

A drink won't hurt right?

A bar was located on the opposite side of the town so I drove there and in no time I was there, parked across the street contemplating if I should really do this. I wasn't nervous because of my age or anything like that because I look older than I actually am and could pass as a woman in her mid 20's. I was nervous because this is my first time.

I built the courage and opened the door. I stood for a moment waiting for a few vehicles to pass. I jogged across quickly and made my way to the entrance. As I opened the door a horrific scent of alcohol and smoke invaded my nostrils. The scent was so strong I could taste it on my tongue. Men and women that led different lives could be seen in the fogged room drinking away their problems expertly.

"Rough morning?" A voice called to me.

"Yeah... How-"

"It's early in the morning, and you're at the bar. That's a given." He answered my question before I even got the time to ask it.

"I'm Roshon, what can I do for you?" He smiled showing off his cheek dimples.

"I'm kinda new to this." I confessed, fiddling with the keys, gesturing to my surroundings.

"I know." He chuckled. "I have just the right thing for you." He left to get whatever it is.

I took a seat on a stool putting my hands on the sticky counter as I wait patiently for my drink. Not even a minute later, my drink was ready.

"Enjoy." He smiled and went on to serve a woman who just came in.

Staring down at the foreign drink before me for an eternity, I reached for it for the first time. I held it at my lips like a kid scared to take their medicine. Feeling defeated I placed the glass back down. This isn't me.

"I-I gotta go..." I stammered out loud, leaving a $10 bill on the counter.

I just want to go home to my baby. I don't know what got in to me. I exit the bar as I came to my senses. Dashed across the street, got in the car and sped off down the road. Half an hour tops, and I was in my driveway. I wasted no time and rushed inside just to see my girlfriend greeting me with open arms.

"I'm sorry." We apologized in each other's ear.

(Both were tempted to release their tension in wrong ways today but they didn't because each other came to mind.)

-

I'm back! 🌹

Let's see what 2018 has in store for Norminah 🙌