Things that Go Bump in the Night

Chapter 46: Outside Alone Part 1

                I left her.

                I left my little sister.

                What. Have. I. Done?

A sob racked my frame like a seizure; pressing my body deeper into the mud and making me choke on dirty water. I left Cheyenne. I left my sister. I left her at the mercy of those monsters. Everything I had done, everything I had suffered had been to keep her safe. What was it now?

No.

She put my back against the wall.

She made me leave her behind.

She knew exactly what to do to make me unable to fight for her.

But I didn't turn back.

I didn't go back to fight for her when she couldn't threaten me anymore. I didn't go back to defend her from all of the horror that I knew that she would suffer. That I had suffered.

I did nothing.

Nothing but throw my poison salve at her face, bark at her where to apply it, and then push off from the dock.  The only thing I did that could have possibly have protected her would only work if he hurt her first.

It would take a bite.

It would take the mark.

The pain that the silver would inflict upon him wasn't enough to avenge my sister's fear.

My trembling hands clutched by shoulder, feeling the soft new flesh that used to be mangled beyond repair. She would have a mark while I would not. She would be trapped in a cage when I was free.  This is not how it was supposed to happen.

The day passed that way, with me face down in the mud and alone with my thoughts. I hadn't made a special effort not to be spotted. While the boat was hidden from view, I didn't strip out of my clothes and discard them as Carlos had instructed. I didn't put lime dust around the area to mask my scent and Kyrie had planned. I just laid there.

Unable to cry and unable to pull myself together.

It wasn't until late in the day that the irony of the situation began to set in. My sister, who had been a snot nosed, sniveling, little brat who was afraid of her own shadow her whole life, had chosen just the right moment to grow a damn backbone to rip me to pieces. Three months ago she would have fainted or cried her eyes out like a useless quim. Heck, she would have done that three weeks ago. 

He'll kill you. If I am with you he will find us and when he does he'll kill you and I won't be able to do a d-damn thing about it.

Cheyenne's voice filled my ears, setting them ablaze.

I won't let you die for me.

How else could I save you?

Desperation. Helplessness. Hopelessness.

These were the most chilling weapons the monsters had against us. These were the weapons which crippled me and continued to make even life seem pointless. These were the emotions which made the cage in which I had been tortured for the past few months of my life. Yet, these were also the hammers which pounded my sister into something resourceful and resilient.

 I didn't know whether to think she was more selfless or selfish in her entire life.

Cheyenne was a naturally selfish person. She had always been. She still was.

She used my friend's lives against me.

She was willing to kill them to get what she wanted.  She was willing to kill them to keep me from dying. After everything I had done to keep her safe, her logic made me sick. It was all for nothing. All of the things that I had done for love meant nothing. All that I had lost for love was for nothing.