A/N: After about killing my internet router with a hammer my internet began working again! I know it has been a LONG time since my last update. Like most authors on wattpad, I do have other responsibilities which are unfortunately more important. I am FINALLY done with my Thesis (insert happy dance here) and I have a few months of break before graduate school. So my new goal is to end this book by the end of July. That's right. END OF THIS BOOK! Thank you all for being so patient with me! You are all awesome.
Chapter:46: Outside Alone Part 1
What have I done?
The thought had been the only one on my mind since the moment the dock disappeared from my sight in the pouring rain and darkness.
What have I done?
I could think of nothing else as I rowed away from the shore, pushing the small boat into the swift current of the river.
What have I done?
It was the only thing that I could think about as the cold rain pelted against my back as I pulled the rip cord on the boat motor until it finally sputtered to life.
What have I done?
Even the howling wind blasting in my ears as the boat sped down the wide empty river couldn't silence the thought. I didn't even register when I was finally past the furthest pack boarder or even when the pouring rain stopped, leaving an icy wind and rolling layer of fog forming across the water. My body was a machine, steering the boat without my direction, killing the engine when there were approaching lights and feeding more gasoline into the motor when necessary.
If I stopped, this would all be for nothing.
If I stopped, all that we all had sacrificed would be in vain.
What have I done?
It wasn't until the sky started to brighten that I began to look for somewhere to dock out of sight. I had no idea how far I had gotten. There were more lights on the banks so I figured that I was approaching a city. That only meant that there would be more patrols and traffic on the river soon. Numbly, I steered the boat out of the main current and killed the engine when the boat made it to a side bar. My hands were shaking so bad that I could barely grip the oars as I rowed the boat to shore. It was so cold, cold almost to the point that I could think of nothing else.
What have I done?
The thud of the boats hull against the sloppy bottom of the underbrush made me stand up and step out of the boat into the water. My legs were soaked as I pulled the craft higher onto the bank and tethered it to the nearest scrub tree. The spot was well hidden, coiled beneath brush and driftwood. It would have to do for a couple of hours. My body crawled up onto the muddy bank, the wet earth clumping in my hands and stinging under my nails. My wet clothes clung to me like plaster, weighing me into the damp earth and almost making it difficult to breathe.
What have I done?
I did what I had to do.
What have I done?
She gave me no choice.
What have I done?
If I didn't leave her all the others would have been caught.
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