kalopsia. { the walking dead / daryl dixon }

11

Right now I miss my mom. When there is a tough decision to be made, she always knows the right points to be argued from both sides. She always knows the right answer. I've always got inspiration from the kind of woman and mother she was, thinking I would be just like her one day. Everything she did, she did with passion. Today I wish she was here with me.

It's been a few hours since Glenn told everyone about the walkers. Rick has been back and forth with Hershel and Shane, trying to make the decision that best supports the group. Every time Rick comes outside I hear Hershel and Maggie arguing. Maggie has been inside for a while cooking and trying to convince Hershel to let us stay. Rick hasn't told anyone about our expectations to be off of the farm by the end of the week, but everyone knows it.

As for me, today I have nothing to do. Rick has cancelled gun training since he doesn't want us too far away from the house, and everyone has other responsibilities. Today is kind of a day off for me, if those even exist anymore. I have been in the same rocking chair on the Greene's front porch for hours, with my legs pulled into my chest and my head resting on my knees.

Jimmy, Beth's boyfriend, hops up on the porch for what seems like the tenth time today and nods, like he does every time. I press my lips together and force myself to smile again before he goes inside.

A few minutes later, he comes back out with Hershel and Beth. Jimmy and Hershel walk across the field to where Rick and Andrea are talking about the plan to find Sophia and Beth sits down in the rocking chair next to me.

"It's sad what happened to that little girl." Beth says while she watches her dad and boyfriend.

"Did you know her?" She asks.

I shake my head. "I was only with the camp one night before they lost her"

"At their camp in Atlanta?" She replies.

I hum in response. I didn't notice the two mugs in her hand until she hands me one, full of freshly brewed coffee.

"And then you left. Why?" She asks me. I take a quick drink of my coffee and hold it down on the chair's armrest.

"In a twisted way, it" I stop myself. "This" I refer to the farm "doesn't seem real. You have no idea what it's like out there. Ever since I've been here, I haven't had to kill a single walker or sleep in the woods. I don't have to be on the lookout at all times, and I don't need to wonder if I'm going to have anything to eat." I try to explain to her.

Beth is innocent. She doesn't know how it feels to have to scavenge to survive. I admire her, almost envy her for it. She looks at me with sympathy as she hears about some the things I've had to go through.

"Out there you have to take it one day at a time." I trace the outline of my coffee cup with my index finger while the I tell her my contemplative thoughts.

"A place like this is somewhere you can think ahead for. It's makes me think that there's a future for us."

"There is" She says, so sure of herself. "For all of us."

Hope will take you a long way in this world now. Beth Greene has what it takes, more so than a majority of us. That much was clear. I smile at her and nod my head.

Beth and I sit on the porch for another hour and just talk. She tells me some stories about her stepmom, and how she would always get away with stuff because in her parents eyes she was harmless. She also tells me how her and Jimmy met. They were only dating three months when all of this shit happened. Jimmy's family didn't make it so he was left with the Greene's.