Undeniable Heat

Broken

Struggling out of the fog holding you down, you felt as if you were floating in a pit of darkness. Voices swirled around you, nothing you could understand. A bright light shown at the end of the blackness, smaller than a pin print. Running towards it, you felt as if you never gained any ground.

Frustrated and confused, you were about ready to give up when you felt something. Just a touch of someone's hand against yours, but it was enough to send you catapulting towards the light.

Blinking furiously against the bright florescent lighting, it took you a moment to realize that you were awake. Your head feeling fuzzy and unfocused, you didn't notice right away that you were laying in a hospital bed. "Y/N!" Jensen's voice rang out, and turning your head, you saw a pair of familiar green eyes staring at you, full of worry and concern. "You're awake?"

"How long was I out?" You asked, your voice still hoarse. Taking stock of your body, you ached, but it was nothing compared to earlier.

"Almost a day." He answered, his hand still holding tight to yours. "The doctor said your body had taken so much punishment, and you had been through so much that you might be out this long, or even longer. But how are you feeling?"

"Sore." You answered, as flashbacks filled your mind. Of Brad kidnapping you, and the torture he inflicted before you had managed to kill him. Tears filled your eyes as you glanced down. "I killed him." You whispered, amazed that you had been able to pull the trigger.

"I know. And I'm sorry that you had to be the one to do so. That's not something that's easy to forget." He answered simply. "But it needed to be done."

"Jensen, what if it's all ruined me? What if I'm broken now?" You whispered, wanting nothing more than to throw yourself in his arms. Instead you pulled your hand away from his, your thoughts in turmoil. "I know I'm broken."

"You are not broken." He insisted, reaching up to cup your cheek, but you flinched. "It's going to take some time for you to heal. You've been through so much, more than anyone ever should have to go through. And I will be with you every step of the way."

"What if I don't want you with me?" You whispered, horrified at the words coming out of your mouth. You could tell it shocked him as well, with the way his body tensed up. "What if I hate having you see me like this?"

"Y/N, don't do this." He pleaded with you, the hurt evident in his voice. "Just because you've been hurt doesn't mean you should push me away. Lean on me, let me help you!"

"I can't. Not right now." You mumbled, as tears poured down your cheeks. This hurt you almost as much as him, but you couldn't help yourself. Brad had messed you up, physically and mentally, and you felt like you needed to find yourself alone. Only then could you turn back to Jensen. And hopefully it wouldn't be too late. "Jensen, I love you, but I've been in Brad's shadow too long. I just need some time to find myself."

"Without me?" He stuttered. "But I can help..."

"Jensen please, this is already hard, don't make it any harder." You cried as he stood up, pacing the room.

"How long?" He asked angrily. "A couple of days, or longer than that?"

"I don't know." You answered. "I hope not very long, because I don't want to be apart from you for long."

"Then don't!" He argued. "I won't push, but if you need me, I'll be there for you. By your side to help you."

"Give me a couple of days." You pleaded. "A couple of days in the hospital or somewhere by myself. Then you and I can talk."

"Fine, I'll give you that. But please, don't shut us all out. That's not the way to heal." He muttered. With his hands in his pockets, he started at me for a moment, before walking out the door. The door slamming shut behind him sent a sliver of pain straight through your heart, but you only had yourself to blame.

Jensen's POV

Sitting there, watching Y/N as she lay unconscious was almost worst than when she had been kidnapped. Seeing her so pale, her body covered in bruises. Having no idea exactly what she had gone through, imagining the worst things. Cliff had called me to let me know they had found another body, that of Tiffany. She had been laying dead for at least a day in front of a chair, and I had a sinking feeling that Y/N had been witness to her friend's demise. Even if that friend had turned on her, it couldn't have been an easy thing to see. Time passed, and Jared left to go retrieve Cliff, but I stayed by her side, waiting for the moment she woke.

When her eyes had started fluttering, I had been relieved. Waiting with her hand in mine, I was able to finally take a deep breath as her gaze landed on mine. But as we talked, I realized that the hardest part wasn't over with yet. Y/N was hurting, more than she would ever admit. And instead of leaning on me like I wanted her to do, she was pushing everyone away. And while it hurt me, I knew she was hurting even worse.

As she asked for space, I wanted nothing more than to sweep her up in my arms, and never let go. But I had to respect her wishes, no matter how much I disagreed with them. As I walked away from her, it took everything in my power not to turn around, to tell her how stupid she was being. But I pulled my phone out instead, seeing I had a couple missed calls from Jared.

Dialing his number, I sank down onto one of the stone benches outside, I ran my hand through my hair. "Hey Jensen, how is she?"

"She's awake." I answered, still feeling like I wasn't doing the right thing by leaving her alone. "But Jar, she kicked me out."

"She what?" Jared exclaimed, and I could hear Cliff asking questions in the background.

"She said she needs to figure this out by herself, and she doesn't want me there. She said she's broken. Jared, I don't know what to do."

"We're almost there." Jared answered. "I'll go up and talk to her. She doesn't need to be by herself right now. She needs as much support as possible as she tries to come back from this horrible experience."

"Exactly. Maybe if you talk to her, it will help her realize that it's okay to need help." I muttered just as Cliff pulled up in the SUV. After dropping off Jared, he went to park, and Jared sat down next to me.

The two of us stayed silent for a minute, him just being there being the support I needed. Placing his hand on my shoulder, he turned somber hazel eyes my way. "Jay, Cliff and I, along with the police went through that entire cabin. And what we saw, it's no wonder she feels like she's broken. He did not treat her well, and on top of that, she no doubtedly watched her friend killed in front of her eyes. It's going to take time, but don't give up. Just be there for her, ready the moment she remembers that she can lean on you."

"I will always be there for her. And the second she realizes that, I'll be by her side." I promised, as Jared stood up to head to Y/N's room.