A Leader's Desire [GDxTOP] / Editing Kinda

C h a p t e r 9 ~ Just a Kiss

C H A P T E R   9

        Seung Hyun froze. He could feel Jiyong's fingers closed around his wrists, and, more importantly, his lips against his own. At first, the urge to struggle, to move, to just scream at Jiyong, was overwhelming, but at the same time, Seung Hyun felt heat spread throughout his body at the touch of the younger. This wasn't right; they were both guys, for God's sake! It wasn't the Secret Garden parody, it wasn't another parody where they were supposed to kiss. But, despite his mind screaming at him, Seung Hyun found he was actually enjoying it. And for a moment, before he could get back to his senses, Seung Hyun closed his eyes and was kissing Jiyong back, his own fingers digging into Jiyong's wrists. Despite it all, Seung Hyun realized that Jiyong's lips tasted slightly of mint, memorized the feel of them on his own.

       All too soon, Seung Hyun was shot back into reality. He jerked his whole body backwards, releasing Jiyong's wrists, disconnecting their lips. And he couldn't miss the look of defeat on his younger bandmate's face as he did so.

      "What- What was that?" Seung Hyun could hear the desperation and confusion in his own voice.

       "I... I..." Jiyong's lip was quivering, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Seung Hyun..."

       "Why? Why did you kiss me?" Seung Hyun demanded. While his mind was screaming at him to run away, push Jiyong and yell, his heart was saying something entirely different. Kiss me again, God damn it.

         "Be-Because... I... I like you..." At those words, Jiyong let out a sound that sounded like a choked cry.

          Seung Hyun felt his limbs tense up. No, this was wrong. But it's so right... You know you're in love with him, too! He wanted to run and pull Jiyong into his arms, but at the same time, he knew that it wasn't right. First, he already had a girlfriend, and second, they were both guys. He felt the pieces silently slick together in his head; the feelings he had gotten when he was chained to Jiyong, how he had all but forgotten Leila when he was thinking of the younger. Dear God, I've fallen for him, too, haven't I?

        "S-Seung Hyun? Say something...." Jiyong whimpered. If possible, it looked like he had gotten smaller in the few minutes after their kiss.

         "I need to go," Seung Hyun said. Without another word, he grabbed his bag and hurried out of the practice room. If someone had called for him to stop, he wouldn't have realized it. All he wanted was to figure out his own feelings, to figure out if he was actually in love with Jiyong. Was it actually possible? Could Seung Hyun have the same feelings?

         Outside the building, it was raining. Of course, Seung Hyun thought. He hurried through the streets, until he reached the one place where he always went when he was having troubles; the bar. He had tried to stop drinking before, but he was afraid that it was going to happen again because of all that had occured. He sat down at the bar, where a bartender walked up to him to ask what he wanted.

          "Can I get you something, cutie?" The female bartender asked, winking at him.

         He ordered a simple beer, not in the mood for anything else. As soon as the bartender disappeared, he buried his face in his arms. Okay, calm down, he ordered himself. Taking a few steady breaths, still in the concealment of his arms, he began to sort it all out in his head. Jiyong was in love - No, not in love, he just liked him in that way, Seung Hyun corrected himself - with him. And, for the most part, Seung Hyun liked him back. Oh, God, running away from Jiyong like that... What had he done? He should have stayed. He should have told Jiyong that he felt the same way. But it was too late for that.