Amnesia (Camren)

Chapter Thirty

"I agree. There's no point in trying when I'm planning to leave." I agreed. Plan B was my plan. I had told Roger, my manager, to get me out of the contract for Fifth Harmony. I needed to work on myself and the only way I was going to do that was by leaving the group. I didn't belong here anymore. The girls didn't feel like home to me, not like they used to. Not like the way we used to be when we first started out. Long gone were the golden days. We were at each other's throats instead.

"If that's what you need to do, then I'll be behind you 100%, Mila." My eyes connected with Ally's. I nodded slightly, grateful that she was thinking with her head straight.

"So now you're on her side? Where's the loyalty? If she's jumping ship, we all might as well give up."

"Dinah, I need you to pull your head out of your ass and pay attention to everyone around you for once. Don't you see how unhappy Mila is? Don't you care about her happiness as well as ours? Do you really want to continue to hurt Mani too? Lauren is suffering as well. Haven't you noticed the way she's been acting since we came back from break? Or how upset I am too?

"Do you honestly believe I want Mila to leave our group? No, I don't. But sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. It's part of life. And it's part of being an adult. I only wish the best when this all happens. I hope we all can have a better life and remain the sisters I've seen grow up with me these past four years. You're family. I wouldn't want any of my family hurting the way we've all been hurting. We need to heal the hurt before Mila leaves."

"You're all full of shit. If Lauren knew you were leaving, she would be on my side. She would be just as mad as I am." Dinah spat. She got up from her chair, the legs of the chair scraping across the floor as she stood up to her full height. "How dare you call me family...how dare any of you say you were sisters of mine. My sisters would never turn their back on me like you are, Camila."

Patience was a virtue. Or so people said.  Most days I had an endless supply of it and I could handle anything with the patience I had. However, my patience had run out with Dinah. Every single time we had a talk about this, she had been full of anger--directed mainly at me.

"How dare you forget everything you ever told me, Dinah! You told me that I had to work on myself before falling back into love. Granted I let things sway me a little on my journey, but now that I want to take that step you make me out to be the villain here? No one understands how tired I am. I'm so exhausted, my bones are brittle from all the back and forth my love life has caused. I'm restless to feel better and you're the first to cast a stone because I'm thinking of myself for once!" Something snapped inside of me.

I had been sitting on the floor, leaning up against the sofa we had in the room for support. I stood up, looking around at all three of them.

I had let this thing go on for too long. I had let it slide because I loved them all dearly. I had let all of them--at some point--step on me so they would feel better about themselves. I couldn't take it any longer.

"Lauren's free. She broke up with Lucy. She told me she wants me. She knows we have a horrible history. She knows that I want her. She poured out her heart to me. This is the perfect opportunity for me to jump back into a relationship with her. I have everything I ever wanted at my fingertips. It's staring me in the face. And I'm walking away. I'm walking away from all of it. Because this life is exhausting. If I continue down this path with Lauren here to remind me that I was almost enough, I won't make it. I'll fall apart sooner rather than later. I'm just thinking of myself for once. Not that any of you needed to know my reasons for doing what I'm doing. It's none of your business. Since I thought we were family, I thought I'd share... But I guess that was all in my head."