Living with the Collins

• T W E N T Y - S I X •

• Y O U R N O T F I N E •

"Are you okay?" Anna's mom asks her. Everyone was in this room. After I left to get changed we waited until the doctor gave us some news and they said she was alright and survived. She tried to kill her self also she was beaten up.

I left the hospital to go back to her house to find something useful, something that would explain this situation to me, instead of finding something that would help me, I found something else.

"I'm fine." She whispered.

I shake my head, "no your not." I said after a few seconds. Her face was blank as she stared at the plain bland hospital walls.

"Your selfish you know that, your really a selfish bitch." I breathe out, as much as the words hurt to come out my mouth I made them, because right now that was the only thing she said since she woke up and I needed her to talk we all did, her mother more than me.

Anna's mom gasped as she heard them words leave my mouth. Elliot, Anna's brother placed a hand on top of his mother as if she knew what I was doing and he gave me a small nod.

I chuckle, not a humorous one, "it's pathetic really." I said moving closer the bed were she lays, "you couldn't even kill yourself properly." More gasps were heard, which were probably from the Collin brothers.

"Your sitting there with a blank expression on your face, staring out at that blank hospital wall acting like none of this is bothering you. But in reality, inside, your breaking. You finding it hard to believe that you actually tried to kill yourself. It's hard isn't it, to believe that you tried to take your own life, because you feel like your not worth it anymore, you feel worthless and waste of space." I don't know where all these words were coming from but they were just leaking out my mouth.

"Its funny really, how you decided to cut your wrist instead of overdosing on these." I said holding up the orange bottle of drugs, dangerous ones. Anna looked up and gasped, her eyes wide as were everyone else's.

I shake the bottle cashing the pills the rattle as I smiled, not a happy one, but a taunting one, "these things would have killed you if you took about 3 of them at once."

"Where did you get those?" Her voice was raspy.

I look at her surprised, "wow, longest sentence you've spoken since you've woken up." I joke, fake of course.

"The real question is, where did you get them from?" I question her seriously. She looked away.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me, I'm sure the police can take the answers out of you." Her head snapped over to mind and I swear I saw her eyes water slightly before she blinked a few times. I'm getting there.

"You can't." Her heart beat was rising as the monitor began to beep.

"Sophia." Carter warned.

"No carter, don't." I said turning around holding my finger up telling him not to comment. "You have no fucking idea how dangerous this drug is. It could kill her."

"Your saying that as if you've taken it before." Anna spat behind me. I turned around and smiled at her, "oh honey, that because I have before and I'm really fucking lucky to be standing here right now, if it wasn't for my brother, I would have been dead and six feet underground." More gasps were heard.

"You don't know what I feel like. You don't know this feeling I have, like an itch to end my life. I have nobody, nobody to tell me they love or care for me-"

"Oh cut the fucking bullshit Anna, you have people who love, to tell you that and care for you." I cut her off and point to her mother and brother. "They care for you, they cried when you were in fucking surgery because you tried to kill yourself."

"If anyone in this room has nobody, that's me. I don't have my mother to tuck me into bed or my brother there to scare the boys away or even my dad there for me, telling me not to let a guy break my heart." I said, "I'd do anything in the fucking world to have family back with me, I'd do anything take back all the fucking stupid things I did to hurt them."

"I tried to kill my self once. Not only did I try to overdose on drugs but I slit my wrist, because I couldn't take the pain anymore, because I thought I didn't have anyone to talk, but that's what I thought." I cried out to her.

"In reality, I did have people who loved me and cared for me, people who I can talk to and open up to. Don't do this to yourself Anna, don't make the same mistake I made, don't push people away." I almost shout. "Talk to me, to your mom, your brother, your friends." I whisper at the end.

"Don't push us away." My hands cup her face as tears began to leak out her eyes. "Your hurting the people around you more than your hurting yourself Anna."

"Did you ever think what your mother would feel like if she found out you were dead. 9 month you were growing inside of her, then another 18 years you lived with her, she made you into this beautiful, worth-full human, don't let people tell you otherwise." My voice was a whisper.

"I'll tell you, I'll tell you everything, but please don't hate me." She cried, I pulled her in to a tight hug as she cried. "I could never hate you Anna, because I know what your going through."

"I want to tell you alone." She said, everyone understood as they stood up and left the room. Carter walked over to me as everyone was leaving, his hands cup my face as I was now standing up in front of him.

"Don't cry, because I hate to see tears in my angels eyes." His voice just above a whisper before his lips meet mine. The kiss was short, but enough to give me butterfly's in my stomach.

"Your really strong, and that's what I love about you the most." He said before leaving the room.

"Your lucky you know." She said behind me. I turned around and sat on the bed waiting for her to continue. "He really cares about you and I'm sure he'd even take a bullet for you." I chuckle, "I'd do the same for him."

"I bet you would." She laughed smiling, the same smile I wanted to see on her face, not fake or forced, but a real smile, the same smile that I wear on my face around Carter.

***

Who cried, be honest beside I know I did while writing this. I listening to really sad songs to get myself in that mood to write this kind of scene. I also watched multifandoms sad ones. Ones that make your cry.

NEXT UPDATE ON: 21/11/17

I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU COULD LET OTHER KNOW ABOUT MY STORY. THANK YOU❤️

VOTE💜

COMMENT 💙

FOLLOW❤️