"Liam, I - " Niall started then stopped, brushing his palms down the front of his jeans. He stared down at his hands for a long moment and Liam just eyed him cautiously letting him think for a long moment. When he finally looked up, his face was set determinedly, mouth pinched and eyes dark. "I love you. I have for the longest time. I know I've you hurt you and I am truly sorry for that, I promise you that this time round I'll treat you better because the three months that I spent not talking to you made me realise that I cannot live without you, I'm so fucking gone for you and I know that's hard for you to believe at the moment but I am. I love you so much, and - " he inhaled sharply before continuing. "I don't think my heart can take it sometimes with how much I love you" he smiled, lips quirking up and his eyes all of a sudden soft and fond. "the thought of never having you in my life makes me want to hurl"
"Niall." Liam mumbled, hands shaking as he reached forward to tentatively brush his fingertips along the back of Niall's hand.
Niall seemed to draw strength from that, snatching up Liam's hand and lacing their fingers together. "I know that it seems like I've spent years neglecting you and ignoring your feelings for me but I swear I haven't, I've just been trying to figure out how to end things between El and I without causing much damage but I realised that I was being an idiot because I caused you damage instead, I've been hurting you for years and I know no matter how many times I say sorry it'll never fix the hurt I've caused. I love you Liam, I've loved you all my life and that sometimes scares me because I can never see myself loving anyone as much as I love you. You don't know how much you mean to me and I know that's my fault because I never tell you enough. Your such a caring person and you always put me first and I don't deserve you because I can never be enough for you but I'm a selfish person and I always take things that I know aren't meant for me"
Liam sniffled, wiping at his nose with his free hand and squeezing Niall's fingers with the other. He felt the sob catch in his throat as he tried to swallow it down.
"You are enough for me and you'll always be enough. I - I love you"
"I love you too, Fuck I love you so much with all my heart"
Liam didn't want to think about how every word Niall was saying was all he'd ever hoped and prayed for. The way that Niall was looking at him in earnest, eyes big and wide and begging for Liam to trust him.
"You're an idiot." Liam said on a sigh, unable to fight the way his lips were trying to pull up in a smile.
"Do - " Niall swallowed nervously, eyes dropping from Liam's like he was having trouble keeping his stare. "Do you think we could try this again? But, like real. I don't want to mess about anymore. I want you - I want you in everything that I do."
Liam inhaled sharply.
This...this was Niall offering him everything he had ever wanted. It was Niall holding his hand tightly and staring at him like he was the sun. It was Niall erasing the months and months of heartache with a simple look.
"I - I don't know if I can. My heart wouldn't bear it if we ended again."
"I swear to you I'll be different. I'm not good without you. I'm not myself."
"Niall..." Liam breathed out, inching closer to Niall and reaching out to brush his thumb along his jaw. "I - "
"I love you, Liam." Niall brought both hands up to cradle Liam's face in his. "I promise you it'll be different. I can't be without you anymore but if you think you're better off without me," he swallowed and winced before continuing, "I'll understand. I know I hurt you but I think we could be good together. Really together."
Before Liam could say another word, Niall leaned forward to press a careful kiss to Liam's lips, barely applying any pressure. Liam's eyes fluttered shut and he caught himself before he could whimper into Niall's mouth because as bad as it had hurt, as awful as it had been to have Niall rip his heart out, he couldn't never say no to him - all he needed was for Niall to ask.
Niall pulled back just enough so that he could stare carefully into Liam's eyes. He waited patiently, brushing his thumb along the hinge of Liam's jaw, rubbing at the soft skin as he held his breath.
"Yes," Liam finally breathed out. Leaning forward to kiss Niall softly, tangling his fingers in the fabric of his shirt and clutching at Niall's waist. "Yes, please. But..." he hesitated and pulled back. "You have a lot to make up for."
Niall grinned, wide and happy he looked at Liam in a mixture of wonder and disbelief. "You mean it? You want me again?"
Liam snorted. "Niall, if you think there was a time that I didn't want you, you're an idiot."
"I am an idiot - I know I am. I'll be better, I promise." He started to mutter promises between kisses, climbing into Liam's lap, straddling him carefully and holding his face reverently. "I"ll be the best for you, babe, I promise. Just let me and I'll prove it."
"Okay." Liam smiled up at Niall, feeling his heart expand with love as he looked at this beautiful, idiotic boy that had finally realized that this was worth it - that he was worth it.
this was a long over due update and I apologize for the long wait, life has just been getting in the way. I promise I'll try to update soon.
Chapter 31: New beginnings
Start from the beginning
