memento mori // poetry

mental illness

Song: Lund - Alone
(this song makes me cry. all the fucking time. ugh. who hurt you, Lund? WHO?)

and he says that it's all her fault,
she doesn't know how to act
or how to control herself.
he blames her for a million things
that haven't even been done yet,
but she doesn't even say a single word back.
we keep toxic love alive
because we think we're incapable of being loved
by someone else.
that is incorrect in every fashion.
perception, how we perceive our reality,
that is important.
you are more than what your prescription reads, 
you are more than what he claims you've become. 

people can change their destiny and fate
by consciously choosing the other side of things.
it's true, flowers are beautiful, but they'll die.
they also grow right back next spring.
my cousin once said that sometimes
we need to cut a part of ourselves out
so the rest of the body can live,
it's true with people.
some people think they know what's good for you,
but that's the thing, isn't it? 

no one knows what's good for you except for you.
the important word here is 'you'.
so i once read that when we read the word 'you',
we all have a different face in mind,
we often forget about ourselves too.
stuck in the mundane parts of life,
we all have our roles. 

my role?
i'm writing this poem
because you've been hurting to find out
why you're being blamed
because you're labeled with a mental illness.
we were born to be queens and kings,
yet we've settled for a normal life.
struggling with addictions and the occasional vices,
if you tell me that you have none— i'll call you a liar.
we all have at least one.
no, addictions aren't all bad,
you can be addicted to providing for your family,
but also—
you can also be addicted to loving the wrong person. 

that sentence in itself can do harm.
you.
when you think about that word.
i want you to visualize your face.
this is going to be simple,
this next part i want you to ask yourself.

"is this really what i need?"