Poisoned Crimson

Chapter 24. Edward's Anguish

Chapter 24

"For my final wish, I'd hold you close one more time.

No matter how many times I hold you,

Even if we try to forget it all,

It would all disappear.

...No matter how many tears we shed."

When I finally managed to get out of bed I realized I had to go back to school. I didn't know whether Dominic told the principal and my teachers I felt sick, and I had to admit I didn't really care either. School felt dull, I could hardly pay attention because all eyes were on that empty seat in class.

Beth's seat.

Nobody asked questions, it sometimes even seemed as if she never existed. But I knew she did. She had to be remembered somehow, and I was going to make sure of that. She never deserved to die, and knowing it was my fault only made it more painful.

I sat with my head in my hands, noticing a few classmates looking at me. They probably suspected something, since I was one of the few who actually knew Beth that well. It was a shame so few knew her like I had, she was a wonderful person.

The nightmare I still had kept playing on and on in my head, my chest aching when I realized I could never have saved her. Even if Benjamin never held me from behind, even if I would've pulled Dominic away. She would have died eventually. I had to be punished, and Dominic certainly was a man who kept his word.

I knew I had to face the brothers once I opened my bedroom door, but I didn't feel anything when I thought about it. No anger, no fear... Nothing.

Out of the three of them, I avoided Dominic the most. I refused to look at either of them, not even when they would ask me something. That was a rare occasion though since there always lingered a painful silence when we were together in a room. I barely spoke only when asked, and the only people I looked at were teachers and Elizabeth.

I avoided everything, I avoided their pitying stares, their curious gazes. I knew that if I dared to look at any of them I would vomit. Just the thought of having to look at them made my stomach turn.

A lot of times in class I would end up staring at Beth's seat, cold and empty as it was. When the teacher would ask me a question she would have had to repeat my name several times for me to snap out of my thoughts.

When class was over I would silently grab my things and I would be the first person to leave the classroom. If a school night was over I didn't bother to wait for any of them to escort me outside; I would walk out on my own and enter the limousine, keeping my eyes on the floor.

When we would reach the mansion, I was the first to get out, and I would enter my room and stay there until dinner was ready. Sitting at the dinner table with them was probably the most painful part of the night, especially since neither of them decided to interact with one another.

Now I had to face one of those awkward moments again. I stood with my hand on the doorframe, staring at the closed dining room door. I only had to push and I would be inside. Why was I hesitating? It wasn't the first time I had to go there since I started going out of my room.

I raised my head up in the air, gently placing my palm on the door. I took a deep breath, realizing how ridiculous I was acting.

I pushed open the door and went inside. When I entered all their eyes went on me. I was surprised to see the concern on all their faces, but I then cast my eyes to the floor and sat a few seats away from them.