Lost and Found

(9) Homeworks and Beer

The dinner went on and on about how he hates his stepmother. I, on the other hand, as a good friend, listened to his repeating rants. Even if it sounded annoying, I endured it a lot. I am the only one Toby can talk to about it. And I felt bad about it because I know what does it feel. But really, I only half-listened.

After dinner, I insisted on washing the dishes since my friend is currently disabled at the moment. He was so adamant about it because all he just did was chop the freaking onions and got hurt. But I stopped him. An open wound on a dishwasher soap isn't a good feeling.

After dinner, we gathered in the living room and got our homeworks to work for tomorrow.

No we are not geeks. We just don't want to get a D minus.

"But anyway, what do you think about the new kid in school?" His brows wiggled at me. He likes to pry on something but there was really nothing.

"What kid?" I asked him back innocently while I flipped my homework back and forth. "Oh Veronica? She's fine. But still a total beyatch." I looked at him and he just raised his left eyebrow calling total bullsh*t.

Okay I know what he meant but I don't want to talk about it.

"Don't f*ck with me. I'm not talking about that blonde Barbie wannabe." He smirked at me.

"I thought you were. You were quietly... smitten with that blonde bombshell of yours." I held a laugh by coughing mid sentence.

His face grimaced with disgust. "Ew Hannah! I'm a woman at heart! Just ew!"

"Huh. Woman at heart my ass! You still have a dick if you didn't notice. You know what they say. 'Men have their heart in their penises.'"

I laughed so hard that my eyes started to water. He looks utterly disgusted by my sly comment. He wasn't ready for that. He didn't even gave me comeback just to smite me. I guess I won the round.

"You know what? You're not getting away with the sh*t I was going to talk about." He dropped his pen on his side and moved his full attention to me but I was still continuing to write my on my essay paper. "We both know who I meant. And that was YOUR pretty boy. By the way, I'd definitely tap that ass." He sighed dreamily.

And that earned him a death glare from me. I never heard him say that to our friend. Well, Sage is hardly our friend but come on, he's belongs on our circle now. Well maybe, I should give him credit. If Toby wants to tap him then, he must be that hot.

Which is I am aware of, but myself was in denial.

"What?" He asked but his smirk even grew in a length. "Oh I get it. Okay, I'll back off baby girl. Silly me." He then continued to giggle like a three year old instead of 18.

But I don't get it.

"What?" I asked in return. But he just shrugged in shoulder.

"Never mind. God, I can be so dense sometimes." He smiled at me then continued to write his assignments too.

The thing with Toby is sometimes I don't get him. He's all open to you in the first hour then the second he gets mysterious and won't be giving a hint at all. He would just go and shrug, or roll his eyes and laugh like it was something for himself only. If I wanted to know what he's up to, I can't do anything because he doesn't let know until the thing itself surfaces. And if it surfaces, he would just have this aura that says "I told you so." which I really don't know what it is 'so'.

It was past 10:30 when we finished our task. Toby did math which I wanted to do but he didn't let me. Instead, all I get was this essay about how Juliet and Romeo's love was relevant to the millennials.

Duh, obviously. Romeo's cheesiness got Juliet off the hook. They were both crazy in love and I meant crazy is that they are dull headed too. I'm not bitter but life isn't wasted for someone's fault like faking a death. It was simply... absurd. The author must have been drunk or high making the novel.

God, why I'm sounded so bitter?

I sighed and packed the things inside my bag. I was done with everything for tonight. I put my assignment in between my Physics book and zipped it up, leaving the bag in the living room.

Toby was in my room when I arrived. The lights were off and the only light that was illuminating was the soft light coming from the moon outside. He was sitting on my bar stool and was holding a can of beer on his right arm.

It was something I got used to, Toby being half-naked in my room and watching him flexing his muscles involuntarily. He hit the jackpot on the genetic genes. He's a gorgeous boy. Too bad, he's gay.

But if he wasn't, would you like him more than what you are together right now?

The answer is still no.

Toby is a friend. No matter how good looking he is, all I see is how broken he is inside. I didn't pried to ask anymore when he came to me wailing one day. And that was the time when I wish that he broke his heart over some stupid girl or boy.

Because broken hearts are hard to mend, especially when the one you really love breaks it— your family.

Your family is your first love. They were the first you see when you open your eyes, the first who taught you to speak, walk and laugh. They were the one who called you home. And it would even be a hundred times worse if your home would drift away from you.

It will leave you alive but dead inside.

Looking at him right now pains me. Because I know he's still hurting. Even if he doesn't show it around us, even if he masked it by laughing and being sassy all the time, still I can see past through him. And it makes me even sadder because I know I won't be the one to help him mend himself. He's too broken to be fixed now and I don't want him to self destruct.

I didn't notice that he was standing now instead of sitting, watching me with his mischievous eyes and smile.

"It really is creepy when you stand there and gawk at me. Unless, you want a piece of this?" He trailed his fingers on his abs.

I gave him my bored and I don't care look.

"Nah, I don't do you. Sorry." I shrugged him by waving off my fingers to him. He just laughed and continued to sip his beer.

I got another stool and put it beside him, watching what he was watching a while ago but actually I didn't know so I pretended to. My eyes caught the moon outside. It was cold, yeah but I think this is comforting.

We were silently sitting for fat minutes. I didn't uttered a single word. The silence around us was oddly comforting. The cicadas and crickets were the only one making noises.

"Sometimes I wish you were my sister, so that if whenever I feel sad, I have someonen to cry on. Someone who will be with me if the world will be against
me." Toby said out of the blue which made me turn my head on his direction.