Lost and Found

(10) Medicine

"You have me. I have you. I think it's enough." I smiled at him and held his hand.

"Yes. But then you have your life, while I would be left alone." I wanted to cut him off because he is so wrong! I won't leave him. He raised his hand that held the beer a while ago. "Wait, I'm not yet done talking." He got the beer again and sipped another batch of the liquid. He winced a little when I think the cold alcoholic beverage hit his throat. "You already know what I meant Hannah. Yeah, I will have you I know that. But I just want someone, a family actually, who is there for me. God, I hope I don't sound ungrateful for having you. I really am thankful for that but Hannah, you're my friend and I understand that one day, you'll fall in love, and your world would revolve in that love because that is the thing that would save you. Don't you think I don't notice the walls you were building? I know that because of how your brushed Sage off. I don't know what made you broken inside but all I know is you'll be saved and I... I would be dealing my sh*t alone."

I was speechless. What he told me was the truth that I don't want to hear, or I wasn't really prepared to hear. Toby and I are different person. We maybe are friends but we don't have hold on each other's neck. I only thought of what is happening recently not thinking of what would happen to us in the future. Still I know that I would still be in contact with Toby but I think in the end, we would have to battle our own demon, alone.

I have my Mom, and Toby... he was with no one.

A single tear escaped in my eyes. The realization hit me. Toby was with no one if one day I would be gone. He was right. I don't know if loving someone would fill the space in heart that was void for an unknown reason. But him, it takes more than that. He was hurt because of his family. And only his family could bring the pieces back together.

"Why am I being dramatic tonight? The f*ck! I'm a teenager, I should be wasted from partying or snorting coke, being high on meth or do whatever normal teenagers do. Live their lives to the fullest. But here I am, telling you all my woes. I'm such a pussy." He laughed at what he considered funny so I laughed with him too.

I playfully slapped his arm. "Toby Matthew Ryans! Don't you dare do drugs! And besides you are not pussy for  opening up with me. I really understand you but I just don't want you to worry about it, okay? You have me, I have you. Wait, do you remember the movie we used to watch? About those two NBI agents who pretended to be the famous daughters of a businessman."

"I do. I got you, you got me, that's all the back up we need. Triple T, K, A— Time to totally kick ass." He chuckled. "Kinda remind me of us, except we aren't black. But hey, they were cool. Anyway, I got it. We got each other." Toby offered me a real smile. A real one! Great, this is good. I don't want us to sleep with a bad night. "Thank you Hannah, for being so stubborn. If you weren't, I think we won't be friends. And I... I won't be here."

I laughed at the memory. I was so hard headed back then. Toby was all sassy but I just shrugged it off. When I joined their friendship, Toby was so hard to please and he was the want I want to be really close with. But I was strong about my wants, and I really want it.

"Yeah, whatever. I do want to whack your head back then." I retorted.

"Duh." He rolled his eyes and pretended to flick his fake and long but invisible hair. He then looked at his wrist watch. "Anyway, it's getting late Hannah. I think we should head back to bed." He stood up and held his hand for me.

If you think we would be sharing a room, well, sorry to disappoint you but we won't. Toby learned his mistake because when we had a sleep over, he woke up his face on the floor while half of his body was on the bed while my foot was on his butt.

Before he left, he kissed at the top of my head and went outside for his room. When I heard his door clicked opened then close, I closed mine too then plopped to bed and sighed a sad but contented smile and dozed off to sleep.

The thing about alarms, they help you wake up. Before you sleep, you'd set it up for a specific time you want. You also can set up its tone. So for a tip, don't make your favorite song your alarm because you'll regret it.

Because alarms are f*cking annoying as hell. Handy but f*cking annoying.

My alarm blazed making me groan in protest. My bed feels heavenly and warm that makes me don't want to get up. But classes are classes and I have a boy next room to feed. Without any choice, I got up, earlier than the hour than I'm supposed to. It's freaking 5:30!

I brushed my teeth first then went to wash my face. The next thing I did was go to Toby's room to wake him up. At my first three knocks, he didn't answer it. So I barged in, only finding out that he was still sleeping, prettily knocked out to be exact. Drool was seeping on the pillow, his feet dangles on the edge of the mattress, his arms sprawled in his entire bed and was snoring lightly.

As usual. This isn't new.

So I left him alone, decided to wake him up when breakfast would be ready.

Today won't be cereal. I would only eat it when Mom comes home. So I grabbed my stock of bacon and eggs, fried it and toasted some bread. When the breakfast was ready, it was then Toby walked groggily to the kitchen while rubbing his eye with his hands. His hair was sticking in different directions and it makes him look good, actually. Kind of the bad boy looks that girls would fall.

Too bad. Yeah, too bad.

"Hey, morning." He greeted me with his groggy voice. "I'm having a pounding head ache." As he reached on the medicine cabinet and got some aspirin tablet.

"And good morning to you too. Nobody told you to drink. So suck it up." I said sarcastically.

He waved me off, still rummaging the medicine cabinet while I'm busy preparing the rest of the breakfast.

"You still use this?" He asked me and shook a plastic bottle of medicine while he was casually leaning on the kitchen counter, his face was sternly looking at me, waiting for my reaction.

I sighed, the meds he was holding was helping to keep me calm at night whenever I felt worst.

But I'm okay now. It's been months since I took a single one of em.

"Nope. I barely remember that it was still there." I smiled at him to reassure him that I'm okay now.

"So why it's still here? I thought your fine?" He asked another one.

"I don't know... I can't just throw it away... I just can't... I really don't know." I sighed, because it was the truth. I cannot bring to throw that damn medicine away.

He didn't asked me anymore. Instead, he returned my medicine inside and got the aspirin tablet. He then plopped in the sit facing mine and started to dig the food I prepared. True enough, he was a growing a boy and a growing boy means two person to feed in a single body.

Toby was the competition of Cloud too.

We managed to eat the breakfast silently because we were both hungry. The food smelled delicious that's why we hurriedly dug in.