the ending begins • verkwan

• he needed to cry because of how beautiful everything else seems •

【6 years ago】

wonwoo sat down with jeonghan at their usual lunch table. he smiled and replied, almost mindlessly, to the small talks he and jeonghan were having. his eyes wandered, all around the spacious but crowded cafeteria, but his knew, deep down, that his heart was only set to one person- mingyu, his smiles and his words.

as he searched, he couldn't stop himself from being happy. he felt extremely boyant.

not like what he distantly remembered of daydreaming on meadows during a warm autumn's midnight.

instead, he felt like the protagonist of a book which he was assigned to read- for the very first time, he felt like partying in a summer carnival with thunderous rap music and screaming his lungs out among the crowd.

"hey!"

a voice, like a tune dedicated for cloudless spring days.

it's mingyu.

a person, like a luminous star scraping through his universe.

mingyu smiled.

a smile, like a ray of sunshine breaking into his heart.

"hey! i'm mingyu," mingyu casually put his lunch tray beside wonwoo's and sat down, he waved to wonwoo and turned, to smile at jeonghan, "and i've been wanting to talk to you for a long time now!"

wonwoo was surprised. sure, he already knew that mingyu was bright and exuberant, but this extend of openess and composure, especially towards the person he'd liked for so long, still stupefied wonwoo.

"me?" jeonghan tilted his head slightly to the left, and blinked a few times.

"yes! i just want you to know that... that... that-" mingyu blushed, but still smiling bashfully, he continued, "i think you are very pretty! i mean! i know calling a guy 'pretty' is a little weird, but, i, i think you are really, really pretty!"

"t- thank you!" jeonghan cried suddenly stood up, covering his face with both of his hands.

but shortly jeonghan removed his hands and sat himself down again, blushing, he murmured in a low voice, "i'm sorry, mingyu, i- i get embarassed easily and... and i- i act strange... and i, i-"

"don't apologize, don't apologize! ah, you're so adorable!" mingyu sighed and blushed, helplessly hiding his smile with his already visible dimples, "but- but i thought you get compliments often, from your boyfriend, i mean?"

"i, i don't have a boyfriend," jeonghan looked up while blushing, "people mistaken seungcheol for my boyfriend, but, but we're just good friends..."

mingyu nodded, and started eating his lunch. he talked with wonwoo a few times, too, but their conversation was so... simple. about classes and the weather and books.

wonwoo knew that he was naturally a born introvert, and he was completely fine with that. he felt safe in his little, shut space. but for the very first time, wonwoo felt self-aware of his introversity.

mingyu kept on talking to jeonghan, of coures. they talked, about love and the sensations of spring and the popular recent shows and memes. they kept on talking, and talking. they talked about themselves. what they'd liked and didn't liked, and their stories.

"ah! i still have to meet with my other friends to plan some... some, i guess, school activities! i really don't want to but i have to go now..." mingyu sighed again and wished for the thousandth time. he wished for this moment to become eternity, "bye, wonwoo! bye jeonghan!"

"but, mingyu-" wonwoo heard his own voice, "come and sit with us tomorrow too!"

mingyu smiled. then, wonwoo saw jeonghan nodding.

mingyu smiled, again. this time, he flashed a smile that wonwoo has never seen before. a smile filled with unspoken words and unexpressed bittersweet feelings. the smile flickered wonwoo's heart strings, again and again.

little did he know, this was the smile that he would suddenly wake up crying about for as long as time allows.

but what he did know, was that, this smile wasn't meant for him anymore. it was for jeonghan.

wonwoo felt strange, and like jeonghan, the naturally kind and breathtakingly beautiful jeonghan, has ruthlessly stole something away from him, and selfishly kept it as his own.

wait, wait, wait.

wait.

as mingyu packed all his stuff, wonwoo finally managed to wake himself up from his unrealistic and pathetic dream, he almost found himself crying, again.

to mingyu, the always bright and colorful mingyu, wonwoo, the often dense and colorless wonwoo, was just another person that fell deeply in love with him. he was probably a nobody, in mingyu's world.

how did he even dare to dream about even appearing in mingyu's sun-kissed universe? how did he ever get the slightest bit of courage to even think about turning his colorless and bleak fading world into a place filled with color and sound and millions of blinding suns?

wonwoo should've realized the obvious sooner. he should've known that ever since the creation of the universe, everything was determined. for better, or for worst.

"jeonghan!" mingyu stopped himself from walking away. he turned around and ran back to their table, he breathlessly inhaled the last bit of the tiniest spark of courage, "you're beautiful!"

wonwoo agreed with mingyu, again, just like always.

that's just the way that life works, wonwoo realized, how summer always came after spring. how smiles always came before laughters.

because after all, both are so, so, so, beautiful.

for the very first time, wonwoo felt like he needed to cry because of how beautiful everything else seems.

【tbc...】

ok idk if i actually did a good job putting what wonu is feeling in to words bcs, ofcs, feelings are such complicated things.