Trials {Editing}

Chapter 2

I watched Harper's car pull away from my house and down the road until I couldn't see her anymore. I took a deep breath and sighed, running my hands over my face. I'm a huge idiot, and I know it. I don't even have the balls to tell her how I feel, even when she makes it so easy. When she brought up telling her when some guy begins to like her, I so should have just told her I already know a guy who does. So easy and simple! But no, I had to ruin it for myself all those years back, and now I don't know if she'd ever believe me even if I told her.

I walked back inside and to my room angrily. I didn't want my mom or step-dad to see me and try to pry into my life, so I made sure to be quick and avoid them completely. I flopped onto my bed and huffed. Why did I have to be such a stupid teenager back then?

Freshmen year, she was a bright and bubbly green-eyed wild child with plans of becoming a cheerleader, and I was one of the new guys on the football team trying to prove myself. We were the best of friends at the time, but she wanted more. And she didn't hesitate in telling me so. However, that morning one of the guys on the football team told me that he overheard her talking to another cheerleader about it. Perhaps if it wasn't for him, I would have just told her I wasn't quite ready to be in a relationship with anyone at the time. But that's not how things worked out. I allowed that idiot to influence me, so during lunch that day when she told me how she felt and asked if I felt the same, I told her to meet me under the bleachers after school. When that time came, she waited under the bleachers for me in her little cheerleader outfit and was met by me, two other players, and a couple cheerleaders. I lured her in, and the boys covered her in slime, while the cheerleaders cheered on. At the time, I thought it was funny... until I saw her face.

I will never forget the utter look of hurt and betrayal in her face. She stared me down with that look as the others laughed on, then slowly began to break down. She ran away, wiping the slime and the tears off her face. That was both the first and the last time I ever saw her cry. After letting the guilt eat me up inside, I went to her house and tried to apologize, but Connie informed that Harper had cried herself to sleep, not bothering to hide her contempt. She didn't talk to me for an entire month, and I apologized every single day. Even when she eventually did begin talking to me again, she refused to ever speak of the event, and our relationship was never the same, nor was she.

After that day, Harper died her beautiful brown hair blonde and straightened it every day. She began to wear makeup and changed her clothing from whatever was comfortable to clothes that were posh and showed the wealth of her family. She quit the cheerleading team and never joined soccer, instead opting for track. She was always in and out of relationships, a month being the longest she's gone without a boyfriend. She wasn't as brave as she used to be, although she was still as much of a wild child as ever. She was almost a completely different person, and I had no one but myself to blame.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell Harper how I feel without being worried that I'll either hurt her or she won't believe me. My buddy Jeff tells me that feeling will never go away, but I've got to rise above it. I wonder if I'll ever be able to...

I decided I should drop by his house and hang with him for a bit. He's got more Xbox games than me, and he's like an old man with how wise and comforting he is. I grabbed my keys and headed downstairs to let my mom know where I was going, then got into my car and made my way over. The entire way, she never left my mind.