It's You

XVII

Time. She said, she needs time. Okay, while a little disappointed, I understood, but a month? It's been over a month already since that night and I haven't heard from Stevie. We agreed that she will be the one to contact me, when she's ready. Ready for what? Maybe I came onto her a bit too strong? But I didn't suggest anything over the top. I didn't suggest anything at all. I told her, I love her. Her and Alan are over. We're parents to two children. WHAT IS NOT CLEAR TO HER?

Maybe Stevie changed her mind. Maybe she doesn't feel for me the same way as she used to while I still do and saying she needs time was a away for her to get rid of me. That's probably it and here I am, obsessing over a woman, who wants nothing to do with me anymore. 

I wouldn't say I have a nasty habit of biting my nails, but I'm close to chewing one off. I'm done waiting. If she truly wanted to try again, Stevie would have called me already. It's taking too long, it's done. It's all over. 

"Kristen?"

"Mm?" She looks away from her magazine just barely. 

"I think we should get married." I tell her and she's got this confused expression on her face. 

"We're already engaged."

"Yes and what I mean is, let's get married at last. Set a date. Or don't." I add, shrugging my shoulders. "We could do it as soon as possible, with family and close friends only."

"Lindsey, are you serious?"

"Yes. I'm not sure what we're waiting for anymore." For Stevie to talk to me at last.

"Oh my God! At this point, I wasn't sure you even wanted to marry me!" Kristen beams and takes my face in her hands, leaving a big kiss on my lips. We pull apart, I can tell she's happy and excited. Me? All I can think about is that I prefer kissing Stevie.

"I need to call my Mom!" Kristen jumps to her feet and goes to retrieve her phone from wherever she had left it.

This is stupid. I shouldn't be getting married, I should be breaking up with Kristen. I shouldn't be moping around, I should go and see Stevie. She doesn't want to see you, my subconscious tells me and... and I listen.

~

It only took a few weeks to get everything organized. I don't know why I'm so surprised. Kristen would have agreed to elope in Las Vegas the moment I proposed. She probably worked fast, so I don't change my mind. We're not going to have many people at our wedding. I don't know the exact number nor all the people who are coming, Kristen was obviously in charge of invitations. I don't really care, I only asked her to make sure my parents are invited. Alan... well, I doubt he'd come, why bother?

Our wedding is a week away. It's going to be very traditional; we're getting married in a church, we'll have the reception after and we'll leave for our honeymoon once we cut the cake. Maybe this is for the better. If Stevie and I were meant to be, we wouldn't have got separated six years ago. She would have stayed, told me about the pregnancy and we would have been raising our kids together since the moment they came into this world. 

"Hm..."

"What is it?" I ask Kristen. We're in bed for the night, but she's still got her list across her lip, looking through some kind of list.

"Everyone replied to the invitations but one person. I'd like to know the exact number of guests while I can still make some rearrangements if needed be."

Oh. The wedding stuff. Utterly disinterested, I ask. "And who's that?"

"Stephanie." Kristen tells me and I'm not sure I heard that correctly. 

"Wait, Stephanie? Stevie?"

Kristen nods. "Yeah, whatever you want to call her."

"You sent her an invitation? Why would you do that, Kristen?" I don't know why I'm so irritated all of a sudden. "I don't want her to be there, besides it's not like she's going to show up!"

"Jesus, Lindsey, relax!" Closed her laptop, Kristen puts it down on the floor by her bedside. "You didn't help me with the list, so how was I supposed to know, who you want to there and not? I just assumed that you'd like her to come. She's your friend, isn't she? And you don't have too many of those as it is."

Ouch.

"Stevie is not my friend, she's my ex girlfriend. Out of all people I'd expect you not wanting her at our wedding."

Kristen shrugs, her voice as indifferent as it was when we started this conversation. "Well, she's a part of your past, isn't she? You're marrying me, I'm not threatened."

Well, she should be. Kristen still doesn't know about the fact Stevie and I have children together. And that is precisely why I don't want to have children with Kristen. I probably should have told her already. It's not going to be a very pleasant conversation if I wait until we're actually husband and wife.

"It's not a big deal. As you can see, she obviously won't be there. She didn't even care to give me some sort of answer. A yes or a no would have sufficed."

"How did you even know where to send the invitation to?"

"I looked through your address book."

"Really, Kristen? You went through my personal things, so you could ask my ex to attend our wedding?"

Kristen gives an exasperated sigh, shaking her head. "No! I needed it to find out where all of your friends lived. Why does it bother you so much anyway? I'm sorry, I didn't really think about it, but please, don't make such a big deal out of it. Jeez..." Getting out from under the covers, Kristen ties the sash of her robe in a knot and stomps out of the room.

Yup, our wedding is a week away!