It's You

V

With a bouquet of flowers in one hand, I smooth my hair with the other, then ring the doorbell and wait. Of course I have the key to Kristen's apartment, but after yesterday, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be using it.

Shortly, she opens the door and I smile at her, holding out the flowers. "I'm sorry."

Kristen doesn't react at first, then sighs and gives in, smiling back at me. "Come in."

I do so, then embrace her and press a kiss to her lips. I'm not usually acting like an asshole, so I felt the need to see her and apologize. "I didn't mean to snap at you yesterday."

"I know and I shouldn't have come unannounced." I follow her to the living room, where she retrieves a vase and goes to the kitchen to fill it up with water. 

"You didn't show up." I'm not sure why it bothers me, but it does. We're engaged, so she should support me, right?

"Forgive me, but I kind of thought you didn't want me there." Kristen shrugs, folding her arms over her chest. "You know what? Let's just forget about it."

"Yeah, let's." I nod in agreement.

"Are you staying the night?" Kristen asks and I see she's hopeful. 

"Sure, if you want me to."

"Of course, I want you to." Glancing at her wrist watch, she says. "I'm going to cook dinner for us, we can open a bottle of wine..." She trails off, but I know what follows after that bottle of wine is empty. 

"Sounds like a plan." 

"Great!" She beams excited, pecks me on the lips and goes to the kitchen, while I stay in the living room and turn the TV on.

Is this the reason why I'm still with Kristen? Because everything is just so easy with her? My mother is right, Kristen adores me and I can't imagine something that she wouldn't forgive me for. Well, cheating maybe, but I'm not that kind of man. I don't think I am, as Stevie's face comes to my mind.

I feel someone shaking me gently some time later and I realize I fell asleep. Inhaling deeply, I stretch and sit up, yawning. "Tired?" Kristen asks, taking a seat next to me.

"A bit, I guess. Was I asleep for long?"

"Well, dinner is ready." She chuckles, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"Oh, wow." I yawn again, then shake myself to wake up, running a hand through my unruly curls. "I didn't mean to."

"It's okay. You obviously needed some rest." She presses a kiss to my cheek, then gets back up and takes my hand. "Come on, food's getting cold."

We sit at the kitchen table opposite each other and I open a bottle of red wine, pouring a glass for each of us. I reckon there's nothing to toast to, so I take a sip and put my glass down. I enjoy wine, but it's not really my drink, so I know Kristen will have the majority of it. 

We make casual conversation while we eat and I'm actually enjoying myself, which makes me feel even worse about getting angry at Kristen for no particular reason. As she starts telling me some story, I don't really listen, but look at her. She's pretty. Again, she's younger than me and most men would consider themselves lucky, but... I know deep down in my heart Kristen isn't for me. But then, I can't find it in me to end things between us because of the moments like this. It's nice. It's nice being with her, but do I really want to settle for just nice? As usual, my mind wanders back to Stevie and I start thinking that I don't want to settle at all, for anyone if it isn't Stevie herself.

"Thank you." I half smile at Kristen, when she takes away my plate. "Do you want me to dry the dishes?" I ask as she moves to the sink and rolls up her sleeves.

"No, it's okay." Shaking her head she starts washing the dishes and I sit back with a content sigh.

I decide to take my phone out and check for any emails. Knowing I'm most likely not missing out on anything, I check Facebook anyway. Scroll, scroll, scrol- wait. What the hell? I frown at a picture of Alan with two small children. It's a selfie and they appear to be at the zoo, With my two favorite little monsters!

Seeing he's currently online, I send Alan a message. 

Whose kids did you steal? haha

I see he's typing a response almost immediately.

LOL! Steal? They're Stephanie's twins.

I drop my phone out of my hand and choke on a mouthful of wine. 

This alarms Kristen and she rushes to me, rubbing circles on my back. "Lindsey, are you okay?"

Coughing, I nod, then after a minute I say. "Yeah, fine. Went down the wrong pipe." I force myself to laugh.  "I'm alright." I assure her with a smile and Kristen goes back to finish cleaning up the kitchen.

I open the picture again. Stevie's twins? Stevie's a mother? The bigger question is, who is the father of her children?