Life is Liz (LiL, #1)

Chapter 57: I'm Sorry

He pulled at the collar of his dark blue v-neck in exasperation. Was he sweating? Come to think of it, he did look kind of sick. "Sorry, what did you say?"

"Are you okay?"

"I hate hospitals."

Then everything clicked into place. That's why he was acting so uncomfortable. He was reminded of all the painful memories that he'd had to endure during his childhood. I imagined he'd also been informed about the death of his parents in the hospital. Picturing a little Alex wake up and ask for his mom and dad almost brought me to tears.

"Shit, I need a cigarette," he mumbled, his free hand sweeping through his hair. I weaved my fingers through his', momentarily forgetting myself and focusing on his discomfort. He let his head fall back against the wall, his hand tightening on mine. "You did nothing wrong. He should have told you about his allergy. If it's anyone's fault it's his own." I wanted to snatch my hand out of his', yell at him, punch him, show him just how wrong he really was. Show him what kind of a person I really was.

Instead, I sat there, curled up in my own thoughts, screaming at myself, cursing the universe and the person who invented peanut butter.

"He'll be okay though," he said, sounding somewhat breathless.

"My nephew's right." My head snapped up in surprise at Marcus's voice. As soon as we'd arrived Sam was taken care of by a set of doctors and Marcus was off to God knows where probably either helping or taking care of some paperwork. "Liz, you did well. You did everything you could have done in that moment."

Oh you mean besides not consuming peanut butter and preventing all of this in the first place? I suppressed the urge to scoff. As though I was of any help. I was the one who put him into this situation in the first place.

"Liz!"

I jumped out of my seat at her voice. My chest tightened, all air rushed out of my lungs. "Shauna." I watched as she jogged through the hall, the hem of her trench coat flapping in the wake. I had to give it to Shauna, running in heels without breaking an ankle could be considered an Olympic sport.

"Liz!" Too much momentum and she ran straight into my arms. She didn't care to apologize. I didn't blame her, she was probably sick with worry. "Where is he?"

Before I could say anything Marcus jumped in, "Are you the mother of Samuel Wheelan?"

"Yes, where is he? Where's my baby?" she asked, on the edge of hysteria.

"I'm Doctor-"

"Where's my baby? Is he okay?" Shauna, normally so very collected and calm, was now a hysterical mess.

"He's stable. We were able to-"

She cut him off again, running her hands through her hair. "I-I don't understand. How could he have been so careless? He knows not to eat peanuts."

My stomach dropped to my feet. How could I tell her that her son was in the hospital because of me? She will hate me! And honestly, I wouldn't blame her.

"Mrs. Wheelan, I guess you weren't informed yet, but Sam didn't eat peanuts, that's not how anaphylaxis set in. You see, consuming an allergen is not the only possibility that can cause an allergic reaction. Proteins can transfer between mouths, so when your partner consumes your allergen-"

"Wait, wait, wait," she intervened, pulling at her hair. "What are you trying to tell me?"

I gulped nervously before stepping in. Opening my mouth, I forced myself to speak. "It wasn't Sam that ate those peanuts." Say it! Just say it! You did a mistake now own up to it. "It was me and when I kissed him..."