My Hater, My Lover (Book One)

Chapter 41 - Wanting to Crash (Eron)

(Warning. Mature Content)

I don't remember how long I cried in my car, alone. It was a dark moment for me. I considered driving my car into a tree.

I didn't feel strong enough to do what I had to do for my mom, I had been a coward and wanted to run away with Miguel.

And I wasn't strong enough to conceive Miguel to be with me. He never really forgave me for the past. I didn't blame him. I just wish I could change it all, but I knew I couldn't.

I felt tired. I felt like I didn't want my life anymore. If I was already ready to throw it away, I might as well use to to help my mom. I'd do what I had to do for her. I didn't have a reason to not do it anymore. That reason had walked out of my life.

I drove home, and the night sky was coming down.

I walked slowly up the steps to my house. My pocket started to vibrate. My heart unexpectedly fluttered.

Was it Miguel calling me?

I quickly picked up the phone. "Miguel?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Don't say his name around me," came Aiden's voice.

I stood numbly. "What do you want?..." I asked.

"I called you like, 40 times. Why didn't you pick up? Are you still with him?" Aiden demanded to know.

I wanted to hate this kid but all the energy in me was gone. I felt destructive and somehow, Aiden was the tree I wanted to smash my car around.

"Are your parents home? Mine are, so let's go to your place and fuck," I said dully.

There was a silence on the other line. "They are home but they won't mind. Just come. I'll be waiting for you at the main gate." he said, before he hung up.

I went to to my house and opened the door. "Mommm," I called, faking a casual tone.

"What?" my mom called back from the kitchen.

"I'm going to chill with Miguel, I'll be late, don't wait up," I yelled.

"Okay, and drive him home and sleep over if you two drink, okay?" she called back.

My heart felt like I was getting stabbed. If only she knew where I was actually going to go....

"Okayyyy," I yelled and closed the door behind me.

I ran to my car. It wasn't a far drive to Aiden's. He was standing by the main gate, just like he said he would. He was standing in a sweater, shivering in the night cold.

I drove up, and he got in.

"Why didn't you put on a jacket?" I asked, looking a bit annoyed at his carelessness.

"I ran out the house after your call," he smiled.

"You actually came and you're worried about me..." I said as hhe blushed and smiled at me. He suddenly reached out and rubbed my cheek.

I didn't pull away.

"You were crying," he said softly. "It's all cause of me, isn't it..."

I didn't want to talk about this with him. I just came here to completely sever myself from Miguel.

My hand reached up to his hand that rested on my cheek. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into me.

I kissed his mouth and unlike Miguel who was gentle and tentative to my rhythm, Aiden was hungry and aggressive. He kissed back, grabbing my head, and holding me against him.

I wasn't going to let him win. I bit his tongue and I felt him flinch but he didn't stop kissing me back. This kid really was crazy...

I pulled away and wiped my lips.

"Let's go to your room," I growled. I pulled the car into drive and we pulled up this place.

I could still see the smashed windows of the cars and I felt a moment of pride. For a moment but then I remembered that this entire mess was really my fault.

I parked the car and cut the engine. I followed Aiden up the stairs to his house.

I entered the house and took off my shoes.

"Wen wen, is that you?" I heard Mrs. Sheng say. She came into the lobby and smiled.

"Hello Eron, dear, welcome to our humble home. Is there anything you would like to eat?" she offered, smiling sweetly at me.

I felt suddenly even more shit. I wasn't just messing with my own life, I was messing with Aiden's as well.

"I..." I started when Aiden cut me off.

"Mom, he isn't hungry right now. We are just gonna go up to my room and talk about the fight we had the other day. When we're done, we'll come down and have dinner," Aiden said cheerfully.

I felt grateful. I would have just trailed off stupidly. I wasn't in my right state of mind.

Mrs. Sheng nodded. "Of course honey. Well then, I'll leave you boys to it. Come down when you're hungry," she said and turned and walked off.

Aiden took my hand and I followed him up the flight of stairs. We went up to the top floor, on the 5th floor.

We entered his room. It was a vast room, with a view of the forest behind his house. It was dark but I could see the stars shining on the field below.

He slipped his arms around me and held me. My hands felt heavy but I reached up and hugged him as well.

He craned his neck up and kissed me feverishly. I returned the kisses, but my mind felt dull and foggy.

We fell onto the bed and I pulled off my shirt. He did as well, but then went for my belt.

My hands caught his. I wasn't sure if I wanted this...I pictured my memory to Miguel in my car. I didn't want to taint it...Then I remembered Miguel's harsh words earlier in the evening.

Yes. I wanted this.

I released his hands, and Aiden undid my belt. He pulled down my pants and boxers, and took me in his mouth.

His mouth was hot and wet but his movements were different from Miguel's. Miguel was confident, and passionate. Aiden, however, felt too eager and his movements were too rapid, it hurt a bit.

I pulled him away and pulled him onto his back. I grabbed the hems of his jeans and pulled them off him. His waist was so narrow, the jeans slid right off.

I looked at his body. He was thin and rather lanky. He hadn't hit puberty yet. Was this right, doing it with a minor?

"I'm yours," Aiden said, opening his legs. I fell on him and aligned myself between him. I was hard from Aiden sucking me. I pressed against him and entered him forcefully.

He cried out but I covered his mouth with my hand. I felt pushing even though it was hurting me as well.

Once Aiden had adjusted to my size, I kept moving. Aiden moaned with each of my thrusts.

It felt better than I had wanted it to, and I felt horrible and guilty. Aiden's excitment fueled my movements.

I pulled out of Aiden, and flipped him onto all fours. I reentered him. I could't stand to look at his face. It wasn't the face I wanted to see.

I held Aiden's hips in place as I used him to finally finish. I cried out as I gave my final strokes.

I collasped on Aiden's back and he went down from my weight.

"I'm glad my first time was with you..." he whispered. I was breathing deeply. He turned his head and kissed me.

I kissed him back. "I'm sorry I didn't use protection..."I whispered back.

"Don't be, this is how it's gonna be from now on," Aiden smiled dreamily.

I clenched the bedsheets around us. I had lost my viriginity to my future husband. So why did I fell so empty?