When Lennon met Harry

Ouch. Like seriously, fricking ouch.

"Seriously? What the hell is she doing there?" Glen lunges forwards and the screen is suddenly filled with his lycra-clad arse.

"Shhh!" I wave frantically as he stares at me upside down from between his legs. "She has ears everywhere!"

"Why the huuuuunnnngggf-" He stretches into a lunge. "Why is she even there? Fuck, that hurts-"

"Ok, could you just stop with the whole Jane Fonda shit for a minute and listen to me?"

"Well excuse me missy, but if I remember correctly, you called me during my morning exercise-"

"Who even wears head to toe lycra to exercise at home?"

"Me, that's who. So sit down and help yourself to a freshly baked shutthefucupcake."

I roll my eyes as he grins smugly. He flops down in his beanbag then to my surprise, drags a pizza box into my line of vision and starts eating.

"What was the point of exercising?"

"I've already burnt it off."

"It doesn't work like that-"

"Shut up and tell me the problem with Clam-Lydia."

He crosses one neon clad leg over the other and takes a large bite of pizza.

"Well... Like I said... She's just turned up. It was really weird, actually me and Harry went down to the beach and we were having this amazing time and I suppose we got pretty drunk, well we didn't drink much but it's the heat I guess-"

"Ok, not to cut off this incredibly long story but Dance Moms is on in an hour and if you carry on like this I'm going to miss it."

"Urgh, fine." I mutter. I quickly rehash the whole saga to him as he nods wisely, like a lycra wearing Yoda.

"There seem to be a lot of people in the way of you and Hazkaban."

"Don't call him that." I groan.

"It is funny."

"It isn't."

"You're so lame these days." He shakes his head. "Anyway, you had the whole Zayn trying to get in your knickers thing... Then Belle threatening to expose you to the world... Oh, don't forget Monica trying to destroy your life and career.... But all of that has been dealt with, I'd still be worried but basically it's ok. Lydia is the one that's never gone away."

"What do you mean?"

"She hated you at the first interview. She hates you more now, I think. She reminds me of a fricking disney villain. Just be careful babe. I do worry, you know? It used to be me and you worrying about how to pay the rent and trying to get free wifi... Your problems are a bit bigger than that nowadays. Just be careful. I'd hate to see you hurt."

I'm about to reply when there's a quick knock at the door. Glen protests loudly as I close the laptop screen.

As soon as I've opened the door Harry slips into my room.

"I'm so sorry Lennon." He sighs. "I have no idea why she's just turned up. She's ruining everything. I had planned abseiling for us today but she's saying there's a clause in my contract that stops me doing stuff like that."