One Mate and a Rejection

Chapter Eighteen

"I couldn't-"

"Stop talking! It's my turn! You faint right after and the doctor says its from stress! You come home with bruises and and you're so damn pale! And not once have you bothered to explain!"

"It's complica-"

"And you rebel even more! You sneak out at night! You spend a whole night at a hospital with some mysterious friend that we don't even know and you can't bother to call or text! And right after I ground you, you sneak out again. And suddenly you're not so pale anymore, and you don't have bruises or anything! What is going on, Emerald?"

Tears began to pool out of the corner of my eyes and I realized I wanted to tell her. So badly, I wanted to be her little girl again and cry into her shoulder whenever some mean girl would pick on me or steal my lunch because nothing is as comforting as the embrace of a mother.

"I want to tell you mom, I really do-"

She dropped in front of me," Then tell me! You know whatever it is, I'll only help you! But I can't help if I don't know what's going on!"

"It's not something I can help mom, I can't control it, and it can ruin everything."

Her face twisted into horror and sadness," is it drugs? Alcohol?"

I shook my head," No mom, its not."

She stared at me," Emerald, I'm your mother. I nursed you, I fed you, I've been there for every little thing that happened in your life! I was there when you took your first breath of the real world! Whatever it is, you can tell me. Your dad has been going crazy out of his mind trying to figure out what's going on."

Her last sentence was filled with so much desperation, it killed me even more.

"Just tell me."

But I couldn't and for the first time, I realized just how much this was tearing me apart because it wasn't only affecting me, but everyone around me too.

I stood up, unable to stand this sadness anymore because if I tell them, their horror would only increase even more.
So I decided on lying.
It would keep them from wondering for a while and it isn't as bad as the truth.

"Alcohol," I muttered through salty lips," I've been addicted since Jared broke up with me."

As I sprinted upstairs despite my wobbly knees, I heard her whisper," We'll get you the help you need, sweetie."

I shut my eyes and landed face first into the pillow.

I tried to focus on my homework but I couldn't.
Not with the sound of mom, going through every yellow pages book, searching for the best therapists widely.

I grabbed my backpack and headed downstairs.
I knew she'd be too focused to notice my absence but I left a note anyway on the fridge saying where I'd be and headed to my car.

I drove blindly for what seemed to be about half and hour before pulling up at the cafe dad had taken me to.

I grabbed my bag and made my way inside.
I sat at the furthest table, beside some teenage girl.

After ordering a coffee, I opened up my science homework and tried to study for the next test.

My mind kept swirling with images of mom's damaged finger nails and her sad green eyes.
Jason's disappointment and how I just lied to my mother to cover up the worse truth.

I sipped on my slightly burned coffee and tugged on a loose strand from my hair.

"Rough day?" said a voice from besides me.