BND|Hopeless

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C H A P T E R  N I N E T E E N -
H O P E L E S S

The instruments faded and everything was drowned by the crowd's repeated chants of 'encore'. I flashed a shaky smile and my eyes darted to the audience that stared at me with different emotions.

Above all, I was searching for the boy I poured my heart with. And a frown etched on my face when I no longer saw him by the crowd.

A wave of disappointed flashed through my chest as thoughts started to wander and bug me.Did he leave before he could hear my song? Did he like it? Did he finally understood?

I wouldn't have been doing these foolish acts with him if I didn't  love him.

I tried not to show my dismay to my loyal friends whom stood by my side, they didn't need to know.

And so I dashed towards the only place I could only think of.

///

"M-marco",I wheezed, my heart clenching by the second while all my breath was taken away by my sprint.

I searched for a faint sign of happiness on his face but all I could see was the belligerent emotion on his face, he hadn't been impressed.

I sunk my head down, my hands interwined as I felt the rain came pouring.

It was a clichè moment but I didn't mind, the atmosphere was rather dreary itself."That was horrible",he finally spat.

His harsh words struck through my chest like a raw knife, my heart clenched by the thought and I clenched my fingers."I poured all my heart into it",my voice was apathetic yet it was shaking.

I tried to remove all void of emotions,I couldn't cry, I didn't need for him to look down at me as someone vulnerable.

"Why did you decided to write something as horrible as that?",he sneered, his tone distant like the very first time we met.

I lifted my head and met his eyes with anger, my chest fuelled with every ounce of anger towards the boy I had been fooling myself."Why?",I asked.

"Why!",I shouted by the second time,"Why push me again?! I thought we were okay again!".

"What's your damage that you get closer and suddenly push me?!",I punched his chest with so much hatred yet he didn't budge nor stumble by my force.

"You didn't answer my question".

"Fine",I snapped."You want an answer?".

"You fucking idiot, I love you!,I thought you reciprocated the feelings back since you learned to wrap me around with your foolish tactics!".

He was taken aback by my answer since his eyes widened a bit but regained it's composure back."Pathetic".

"You don't know what love is, how can you be so certain that what you feel is truly love?".

"Do you need to ask that?! How can you be so cruel?!",I trembled, my hair soaked by the pouring of the harsh droplets of rain.

His hair turned dark that it almost resembled the colour of black,his eyes never leaving mine for a second."I love someone else, it's not you, therefore I can never love you back".

He turned his back against me, leaving me in the cold pouring rain while my tears mixed onto the salty rain.

I fell on my knees, my small whimpers became loud sobs for pain, need for love, need for acceptance.

Not rejection.

How could life be so cruel that whenever I thought there would be a slight chance, it fades away.

"I swear to you Marco Diaz, I'll make you pay".

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