Loving From Afar

Loving From Afar 31

“Now who’s that girl you like?”

George took a deep breath then looked right into my eyes, “You.”

“George I love you and all-”

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you,” He sighed. “I’m sorry, I should get going.”

“George wait,” I cried.

“What?” He groaned turning to look at me again. “I shouldn’t have told you, it was an accident and I’m sorry. I know you like rich Slytherin’s not someone like me.”

“I never said that,” I screamed throwing my hands up in frustration.

“You didn’t have to,” He spat. “I saw the way you looked when I told you how I felt; all I am is your big brother.”

“Is that what this is really about,” I screamed yet again. “I thought you knew how I felt about Levi, why would you suddenly spring this onto me!?”

“You seemed to be fine talking to Draco at supper!”

“How the hell did Draco get brought into this? He is my best friend; of course I tell him how I feel!” Tears were falling freely down my face now but I didn’t bother reaching up to wipe them away. I wanted Fred to see the hurt he was causing me.

“Yeah well you seemed to be more than friends.”

“You are such an ass,” I whispered. “I trusted you and all you say is that I care more about hooking up with someone after I just got out of a fucking relationship?” I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down, “You know what George?”

“What?”

“Go to hell.”

By now there was an audience gathered around us, watching us yelling at each other. I didn’t know if it bothered me or not but truthfully I didn’t care at the moment, all I cared about was getting away from George and the hurt he had caused me in a few short minutes.

I ran out the portrait hall passing people who started whispering as soon as I entered their view. I quickly ran up to the Astronomy tower hoping nobody would be there. I looked around making sure nobody was in the room before I let the tears fall.

These past few days I didn’t know what to do anymore, it seemed like everything was going back to normal then it all crashed back down again. I never had a simple life but sometimes all I wanted was for people to stop asking me what was wrong.

Found a piece of candy on the floor

 And I couldn’t resist but taste it

 Momma wanted to smack me

 And that’s when I made up my mind and I ate it

 And I have to admit it

 Tasted better than the ones in the kitchen cupboard

 Every night I’d look out the bedroom window and wonder what it’s like to run away

 Daddy told me he would hit me if I did it so I made up my mind and I ran away

 And I have to admit it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be

 What doesn’t kill you makes you sick

 And if you’re sick you learned a lesson

 And with every lesson you get wiser

 So I figure that it pays to cross the line

 And eat a little dirt sometimes

 I found a book about mystical things but momma said it’s against our religion

So late at night I’d read it anyways and that was the last time I asked for permission

 And I have to admit that I don’t regret telling her lies cause it opened my eyes

 I won’t let my years go to waste living in a cage

 This prodigal child will always stray

 I got over the stomach ache

 Wiped the mud off my face cause this world belongs to the brave

“Nice voice,” Fred said appearing beside me. I simply looked at him not bothering to reply. “I heard what happened between you and my brother.”

“What’s your point,” I asked through clenched teeth.

“I know what he did wasn’t all that fair to you but-”

I sighed interrupting his sentence, “Fred I know you’re just trying to help your brother and all but what you don’t understand is that I trusted both of you and I told George how I felt about Levi even though he was a Slytherin. I guess I always thought that he understood how much I was hurting on the inside but maybe not, maybe he was hurting on the inside too but didn’t feel like I would care enough for him to tell me.”

“Tessa, George never even told me, and I’m his twin.”

“And I believe you, it’s just that I have always had people lie to me, coming here at first I thought it was different but then I met you two and I started to have hope.”

“All my life, all I wanted was someone who will stay with me, no matter how hard it is to be with me. George has seen me at my worst and my best but yet now I don’t think I can look him in the eye.”

Fred slowly nodded, “I understand.” He quickly stood up and left the tower. For the second time this night I wondered if I was alone at last.

I stared out at the setting sun wondering why I always seemed to expect the most in people when I only received the least from them.

Just as the sun was starting to finish setting I stood up and headed back to the tower to get ready for the party I had planned for tonight. When I walked into the room Tamara was swearing from the closet as Olivia sat on my bed.

“What’s she looking for?”

“I’m not quite sure,” She shrugged.

“Found it,” Tamara called exiting the closet holding a pair of light skinny jeans, a darker pair with rips in them, a ruffled tube top with a belt to go with it, off the shoulder purple zebra print top, open toe high heels, and jeweled high heels. “Mine and Olivia’s outfits, thanks for donating your clothes.”

“Leave anything left for me,” I joked.

“Your outfit is already picked out and on the back of the closet door, go shower so I can start getting you ready when you’re done.”

“Bossy,” I muttered jokingly and closed the bathroom door behind me. I quickly let the hot water submerge me and forgot all about these past few days. Even for a few minutes I could think about normal things and not have my heart feel like it is about to break.

My heart says yes while my head says I shouldn’t. I don’t care here I go, tell me does that make me crazy?

***

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