The phoenix's hypothesis - Book 1 (MxM 18+)

Chapter 59: The interview

Anthony, Fri Jul 10th 2015

It feels almost weird not to be broken by this umpteenth blow. Now the picture that ruined my life twice is all over the internet, and people are putting not-so-nice comments next to it. Perhaps it is because I am used to be publically humiliated like this, perhaps it is because I don't really care what people think; my family and my friends know the truth and that's all that matters. Or perhaps it is because I have finally become a bit stronger, like my Master suggested.

In any case it has been liberating in some way: now that it is out, I will never have any new bad surprise with this photograph. It's a bit like when I was younger and came out of the closet; not having to hide who I was anymore was quite freeing. I know that after this, there is no more dirt for those who would like to hurt me.

From the beginning, it has been very uncomfortable to be in the spotlight. I have never liked to be noticed, so to see a picture of me with my Master in the newspapers was really troubling. Fortunately I don't have to deal with journalists or paparazzi: he was kind enough to arrange for someone in his company PR department to help me with the first ones and the numerous bodyguards he hired bear with the second ones. According to him, this attention will blow off in a few weeks, so I shouldn't be bothered too much.

That was before the picture came out though. We had discussed this possibility with my Master. Since his father is a ruthless man, it was obvious he wouldn't just sit still in prison and would find a way to make our lives miserable at one point or another. He had the photograph at his disposal, so we knew it was only a matter of time before he managed to publish it somewhere, especially with the media taking a sudden interest in us. In a way, I was forewarned this would happen; perhaps that is also what makes it a bit easier to deal with.

The thing that bothers me the most isn't the comments about me being a slutty whore, or the fact they make me appear like a gold digger who is some kind of sex slave to my Master. No, it is the fact they are spilling a load of bullshit about the lifestyle and reveal the Blue Phoenix as a place where it is practiced. I would hate myself forever if the secrecy of the club was compromised because of me!

To deal with this little scandal before it blows out of proportion – damaging my Master and his company in its stead – we will just address the issue during the interview that was scheduled for today. By telling the story of my rape we will make appear all the trashy stories around the internet exactly as they are, and that should refocus the spotlight on something else than their true aspects: the BDSM lifestyle and the secret club behind the Blue Phoenix.

I still have to decide to which degree I am ready to talk about everything. It could go from a simple statement explaining the facts to the whole story and its aftermath. The only question is how much I am ready to reveal about myself. Of course the most efficient communication strategy – and the smartest move – is for me to tell everything. My Master has gently nudged me toward this, I am just really uncomfortable exposing myself like this, especially the parts about my addictions.

What would my family think about that? For obvious reasons, I never really told them, so I'm not sure the best way for them to find out is in some article, or worse, the television. But on the other hand, am I really ready to jeopardize the secrecy of the Blue Hedonism? All my friends are there, apart from Jonathan, and even if they would never resent me directly, I would still know I am the one responsible.

When I balance the two things, my discomfort and the fear of my family knowing versus the club and all it represents, my choice is easily made. Now I just have to live with it.

My Master has taken the whole afternoon off for this thing, and dressed the both of us in elegant suits of one of his designer brands. Depending on the number of pictures they are going to take, we might change a few times, but he has got all of it covered. The journalist arrives precisely on time, with her cohort of photographs, assistants, cameramen... They quickly settle in the living room and we are soon casually installed in one of the couches, next to each other, his arm holding me against him. This feels very unnatural but I guess that our usual position of me kneeling between his parted thighs wouldn't be very good in terms of public relations.