Behind The Scenes

Chapter 15

Camila softly groans, pressing her palms against her closed eyelids and rubbing to try and relieve the steady throbbing just behind her eyes. She had been trying to write some songs down or at least some thoughts that she wanted to remember for later, but all that she had succeeded in doing, was scrawling down a few messy letters and giving herself a headache.

She leaves her hand over her eyes, letting the darkness soothe them for a few seconds before debating if she should continue. Really, she had nothing else to do, so there wasn't a reason why she should stop, other than the aching of her head, that is.

The last few days have been boring. After Camila had cried into Lauren's arms, Lauren had simply sat with her for another hour until she had to go. Lauren had rubbed Camila's back softly and just allowed Camila to feel calm, safe, and comforted. It was weird how it felt to just be held in someone's arms like that, it was something that Camila hadn't ever really felt until now.

Sure, she and Dinah have hugged and cuddled together, even she and Lauren have cuddled a few times, but this time felt different. It was like- It was like what Camila always pictured home to feel like. It was comfort at its best and intimacy in its purest form.  Lauren was holding her purely to keep her from sinking under the pressure and there wasn't anything for Lauren in return.

Camila's pretty sure she would be perfectly content just staying in Lauren's arms forever.

When it was time for Lauren to go, she pressed the gentlest kiss right on Camila's forehead-freckle and at that moment, Camila swears she hasn't ever felt better. She had cried out really everything that she needed, and unlike the destructive crying she had done a few days prior, this one almost felt healing and needed. Lauren had kissed her head, taking all the bad thoughts from her brain, even if just for a second, and Camila was able to go back to the bus with a smile on her face.

Camila hasn't really been able to get out of the bus since then, mostly because Cat seemed to always be around and even though Camila's secret was out to Lauren and Ally, the whole rest of the crew didn't know about Camila's existence so it was still important to keep her presence hidden while Cat was out and about. If they were seen together, it would surely shock quite a few people.

Camila knows that Lauren and Ally will both keep quiet, but she can't say the same for everyone else.

On top of that, if Sinu or Joe were to see Camila and Cat in the same place, regardless of anyone else, Camila would be dead for sure. So yeah, long story short, Camila's been stuck in the bus for the last few days and today was no exception, hence her trying to pass the time by writing.

Just because she hasn't seen Lauren, doesn't mean that they haven't been talking. Lauren made sure to get Camila's actual phone number from Dinah and they've been talking on the phone and facetime-ing every day. Which isn't the same, but seeing as they are on an extremely busy tour schedule and they have to tiptoe around Cat, it's better than nothing.

Camila sighs as she hears loud talking and commotion coming from outside. It was The Fourth of July and everyone else (and she means everyone, all members of both crews and anyone who happened to be in the area) was outside in the parking lot. There was a big barbeque going on; the smell of hot dogs and hamburgers filled the air. Loud music played from somewhere along with the added sounds of those little firework popper things that you threw at the ground to make noise, and everyone was decked out in red, white, and blue to celebrate the American holiday.

It was a party.

A party that Camila was unfortunately not allowed to go to because of her sister's presence.

Camila sighs, leaning her head back against the wall of her bunk and tossing her journal away in boredom. She was done with writing. She would just have to find something else to do. She glances around the bus, ultimately finding nothing except some shoes on the floor and various clothing items draped along the walls. Anywhere you could hang something, was occupied; bras, jackets, pants, necklaces, shirts.... You name it. They were a mess.