Truth

Don't Wake Me Up

Chris made a good kitchen assistant; he also made a very good listener- for some reason I decided to pour out all my life's struggles over a bubbling pot of pasta, he didn't seem to mind or at least if he did he didn't let it show. I glanced over at him as he obediently buttered the garlic bread; he was processing all of my data- it was at this point that I felt embarrassed.

"I-I'm sorry I talk too much."

He gave me a reassuring smile; "I like to listen to you- you seem to have a lot to say ."

I blushed fervently; he continued on: "Most girls that come here are after one thing, but you - you have depth it's refreshing."

"So my babbling doesn't bother you?" I spoke softly my tone revealing my surprise;

"You feel comfortable enough to talk to me without judgement-most people don't do that; they either fear me or lie to me" his voice was low and passionate; "I really appreciate your company"

I gave him a wide smile; "I like hanging out with you too."

We sat side by side at the kitchen counter; as I watched him hungrily devour the chicken casserole- my soul sighing contentedly.

"The food won't run away you know"

He paused mid bite; "I haven't had home-cooked food in a long time, you cook like my momma"

I giggled softly; "Well I'm happy you're enjoying it"

"You'll make a good momma"

"You really think so"

"I know so; you give off those momma vibes"

"I always dreamt of having a family, I want two daughters and two sons ,oh and a cat "

"Is there a white picket fence included?"

"As a matter of fact there is."

"Touche', well I always wanted a family too; I was finna have three boys and a girl by a nice down to earth chick and I was gonna teach them how to dance and take them on trips- but it didn't quite work that way."

"Hey you still have a beautiful baby girl ; she looks just like you."

"She likes to dance like me too- but it aint the same; me and her moms aint even friends."

"Maybe it's better that way- better for you not to get your feelings involved."

He pondered this; his face perplexed- "When I fall in love it consumes me; it's like all I think of is that person- I get possessed - he sighed deeply before continuing on; "I turn into an animal..

"You're loyal Chris and passionate- "

"It's my passion that scares me- I get drunk off that shit and end up hurting the women I'm supposed to care for; it's like I black out sometimes - I get so high off love that I go crazy when they leave" His voice gradually cracked; his eyes glazed over with tears that he restrained

"You're not a monster - and you're not an animal; you're just bipolar and self-medicating, you have to face it Chris or it'll keep consuming you"

He made a tense closed fist; I watched his jaw clench his eyebrows framing his face angrily. My heart pounded but my soul was at rest- I was used to being around unstable men; both my brother and my father have bipolar disorder , my mum was perfectly healthy; and intensely stressed.

"I know that you're not going to hit me Chris, you're just frustrated ; it doesn't change the truth."

He gradually loosened his fist; his face following on-"I had it under control when I left jail- then all the stress hit and -"

"You cracked"

He nodded his head ; "You're not afraid of me" his voice was gentle and childlike

"You're not someone to fear Chris , you're just a broken soul in need of some genuine love "

"No one loves me ; they just use me."

"Now that's not true - what about your momma?"

He slowly looked up at me, the tears finally escaping his bondage and rolling down his cheeks

"She loves you, and you miss her; why don't you go ahead and put that woman out of her agony with a phone call."

"She's mad at me ; I keep letting her down."

"She's mad because she cares- stop being stubborn and call your momma."

He gave a small chuckle "You ordering me now?"

I gazed at him stonily: "As a matter of fact I am - if you don't call her I'm not going to bake that pie you wanted."

"You bribing me with food?"he was clearly amused; "I told you that I was going to love on you and I meant it; you need a friend and I have already nominated myself."

His face flushed as he played with his hair; "You want to be my friend?"

"Yes"

He smirked mischeivously ; "With benefits?"

I smacked him gently with my apron; "No"

"Well alright then, no need to get fiesty"

I gazed at him , my eyes determined- my demeanor serious.

"Fine I'll call her"

I gave him a tender hug; he responded by wrapping his arms around me tightly - his head burrowed into my neck. 

I gave him an innocent kiss on the forehead before we broke our embrace; he was blushing - his face set aglow with pure joy.

"I'm lucky to have a friend like you"

I smiled warmly at him; "The pleasure is mine, now go call momma joyce."

I retreated to my room to pack; the humid vegas air made me exhausted - I wiped a stream of sweat from my forehead; before I was jolted by the sound of my phone ringing.

It was the snake;

"You've been down there for longer than expected; did things get heated down there?"

Her tone was playful and mischeivous ; "Not in the way you're thinking of, I've been getting to know him." My eyes gazed off into the vegas sunset as I ran through the last 32 hours, my voice was soft and wistful

"It sounds to me as if you're catching feelings for this fiend." 

I cleared my throat; suddenly coming back to reality- "I've been nothing but professional, the story is coming along nicely- i'll be back by tommorow afterno-"

"No you will not, my sources tell me he's growing quite fond of you and you seem to be able to level with him easily- I want a pultizer prize winning story Jai; so we will be relocating you to our offices in Los Angles - accomodation has already been arranged."

"W-w-what about my things, my cat?"

"They are being U-Hauled as we speak- you make good bait and I trust the story will be sensational; remember your purpose Jai- I'll keep in touch."