Here comes Teddy

Explaining Death (Fourty-one)

Teddy PoV

It was the day after Ro's birthday, so Ro, Georgie and I went to see Nana, so we all could catch up with each other and say our goodbyes, when we were almost at the train stop before the hospice, Ro asked me a good question, not that there's such thing as a bad question.

"Daddy"
"Yes Bambina"
"What happens to you when you die?"
"Well I, uh, I, I don't know Baby, I haven't died yet"
"Wait, what do you mean by yet?, are you going to die?"
"No, your Da's not allowed to"
"Georgie!, please don't make it any harder than it is already, (sighs), I will have to someday Sweetheart"
"But you can't die Daddy"
"Well hopefully I won't die until I'm a very old man"
"How old?"
"Probably... A thousand years old, maybe even a hundred thousand if we stop eating from the chippy"
"Uncle Georgie!"
"What?!"
"Don't be silly"
"Yeah don't be silly Georgie"
"I'm insulted th-"
"Rowan Baby, by the time I die you'll have a husband or a wife with a house of your own"
"You promise?"
"Yeah Baby I promise"

So I lifted Ro up onto my hip because coming off the train there were too many people for her to get lost in.

So we eventually arrived at the hospice where Nana was staying, and we waited until Nana had finished her breakfast since it was the hospice's policy, weird policy I know, but we did actually get to see Nana eventually.

"Hi Nana"
"Hi Tesoro, did you have a good birthday yesterday?"
"Yeah, we brought you some birthday cake Nana"
"You are so kind, I'll have it later"
"Ok"

A couple of hours later and Ro was asleep on one of the arm chairs, obviously tired from the ordeal of yesterday.

"How are you feeling Teddy?"
"I don't want to lose you Nana"
"Does she know?"
"Yeah, she kind of put the pieces together yesterday, I'm worried about her Nana?"
"You worried about how my death will impact her?"
"Yeah but not entirely, (sighs), she heard Megan call her a lousy kid"
"You can never catch a break can you Tesoro?"
"Or I'm just a lousy Dad"
"Hey!, you are not a lousy Dad, you work hard for everything you and Rowan have, lousy Dad's don't do that Teddy, lousy Dad's don't care about what they do or say will hurt their children, you are not a lousy parent"
"Then why does she keep getting hurt by somebody who's supposed to love her unconditionally Nana?"

Nana put both of her hands on my face, in a Italian Grandmotherly way, so that I wouldn't look away.

"Because Megan is a cold hearted bitch, and that is not your fault"
"I second to that!"
"(Chuckles), you have to promise me that you won't ever change Georgie, ok"
"Ok Nana, I promise"
"Good, now come here Theodore"
"Nana"
"What, that's your name, is it not?"
"Yeah Nana but you know that I prefer to be called Teddy, I have done for a while now"
"Ok ok ok, I won't call you Theodore again, now stop trying to be superman for a bit, alright"
"Yeah yeah, ok Nana"

Nana seemed to be happy with that, probably because I actually didn't try to argue with her about it for once, but the reason I didn't argue with her was because I knew that she didn't have long left until she died.

"Look, we all know that this will probably be the last time that we are all going to be together, so I don't want it to be a sad goodbye affair, capire?"
"Crystal clear Nana"
"Georgie"
"I understand Nana"
"Good"

Ro started to wake up from her nap on the chair and then went to sit on my lap, her eyes still looked sleepy from the nap.

"Hey Baby, did you sleep ok?"
"I was asleep?"
"Yes Sweetheart"
"Oh, I'm sorry about that"
"No Tesoro, don't be sorry, I fall asleep during the day here too"
"You do Nana?"
"Yes, I get bored here sometimes so I sleep"
"Oh ok"

We stayed there until visiting time was over, then we said our goodbyes and left, because Nana didn't want us to make a massive fuss over it.

The train ride home felt gloomy almost, Ro was asleep in my arms, so she didn't know the gloomy feeling that Georgie and I were feeling, which I was grateful for, because I didn't have the heart to tell her that we just saw Nana for the last time.

"Teddy"
"Yeah Georgie"
"What's going to happen to Nana's stuff, what if it just gets thrown away-"
"I have the photos, Rueben has the other important stuff, because Nana knew that she was going to die for years"
"I'm glad that we have something from Nana"
"Me too Georgie, me too"

Capire is understand in Italian.