Here comes Teddy

The arguement with Mum (Tweleve)

Teddy PoV

My mum wasn't exactly happy that about how I dealt with Megan and she let me know about it.

"Teddy, you know that Megan wouldn't just come back for the sake of it"
"Yes she fucking would Mum, what the fuck do you mean that she wouldn't, you do realise that she is the same person who lead me on about wanting to keep Ro in the first place, (Sighs), I can't just watch Meg do that to Ro because it would absolutely devastate her Mum"
"But that's how we learn to toughen up in the world Teddy"

I exhale sharply while clenching my jaw so I wouldn't punch something, since Mum was totally discarding how Megan coming back would effect Ro, and it rubbed me up the wrong way.

"Ro doesn't need to toughen up at the age of three, she's already tougher than the average three year old"
"But don't you think that it's a little extreme to not have Megan in Rowan's life completely?"
"It wouldn't be fair on Ro if Megan decides that she doesn't want to be a mother again, like she did the day Ro was born, so if that's me being extreme then fuck it, I'm being extreme"
"You can't protect Rowan from everybody that will hurt her"
"I know I physically can't Mum, that doesn't mean that I'm not going to try to protect her, because that's what most parents do, I know that's a hard concept for you understand Mum, look I don't want her to experience having a parent that is only a parent on their conditions like I did with Dad"

My eyes were beginning to fill with tears, my throat tightened, this wasn't a feeling that I was used to and honestly for a long time I didn't let myself ponder on feeling sad for too long.

"Is that why you blocked Megan from seeing Rowan?"
"It's one of the reasons why but I'm not going to into that right now"
"But Teddy-"
"Don't fucking 'but Teddy' me mum, please don't 'but Teddy' me, I really hate it when you pull that shit"
"Just give Megan a chance Teddy, I know you don't want to but sometimes you have to do what you don't want"

I was staring at the floor, not wanting to look my Mum in the eye and I also wanted the floor to swallow me whole, but I did look Mum in the eye, so that she couldn't say that I was disrespecting her.

"No, (deep breath), I can't give Megan another chance Mum, because then that would make me you, and I don't want that for me, God, my relationship with Dad is shit, it always has been shit really, maybe it's because of circumstance or something like that, but what didn't help was how indecisive he was about being a father to us, but I wish that you weren't such a fucking pushover when it came to Dad, because then maybe I would still have faith in one of my fucking parents, but I lost that faith a long time ago"

My eyes were overflowing with tears at this point, I slowly slid to the floor and hugged my knees, I never admitted it out loud before, for I was afraid that it would fall onto deaf ears, my mum's eyes were starting to fill with tears.

"Why didn't you tell me this before Teddy?"
"About which part Mum?"
"Everything that you have just said to me Teddy"
"Woah, you knew about how I felt about Dad, I always told you that about Dad, but you never listened to me, actually the last time I said about it you literally just said 'no you don't Teddy' so let me ask you this, why the fuck would I tell you that I lost faith in you when you ignored me when I said that I don't like Dad?"
"Because I'm your mother Teddy"
"That doesn't mean anything anymore, it hasn't meant anything for a long time"

You could cut the tension in the air with a knife, it felt like the tension could also strangle you, none of us heard Ro walking towards the kitchen, because if I saw her walking towards the kitchen, I would've attempted to not look like I had been crying.

"Daddy, why's you cwying?"
"I'm not crying Baby"

Ro crossed her arms, I swear she did, she reminded me of Nana when she did that.

"I've seen Auntie Mollie cwy a lot of times to know that you're cwying, so why's you cwying Daddy?"
"It's complicated Rowan Baby"

Ro then hugged me while looking up at me, her Baby Blue eyes looked really sad.

"I don't like seeing you cwy Daddy"
"I know Darling, I know"
"I wove you Daddy"
"I love you too Princess"