are you in love with a notion //phan

(2) 31st January 2017

Dan swore it had only been five minutes since he had climbed into his make-shift blanket cocoon when he heard a knock on his door. He grumbled something to himself and ignored it, hoping that whoever was on the other side of it would get the hint and leave.

"Dan! I know you're in there!" a familiar voice shouted.

He was tempted to shout a childish 'no, I'm not' back, but decided against it. Instead, he kept quiet.

"I didn't want to have to do this, however, you leave me no choice. You gave me your spare apartment key and I intend to use it."

The sound of a key turning in a lock could be heard from Dan's bedroom and footsteps coming closer and closer towards him. He buried himself further into the covers, curling up into a ball to appear smaller and less visible (not that it really helped).

"Louise, go away," Dan mumbled from under the duvet.

"Lovely to see you, too."

"Phil send you?" he questioned.

"Yes." she nodded. "But I would have come over even if he didn't. How are you?"

"Fan-fucking-tastic, how about you?" Dan responded as if Louise was blissfully unaware of his state.

"I'm alright, thank you for asking. But, Dan, all this needs to stop."

"Louise, I'm fine - stop being such a mother hen."

"It's not my fault that you're acting like a child and I have to look after you, Dan! All you seem to do is sit on your sofa, cry at the Muse songs that remind you of Phil - which is almost all of them, and browse Tumblr from time to time. You haven't made a video in months, I'm surprised you can still pay the bills and have any sort of following - your fans are extremely dedicated and you are very lucky."

It was true, Dan managed to find a way to link everything he did back to Phil (which usually wasn't hard as they'd spent three years as a couple). Making videos was hard because it was Phil who persuaded him to start; he could barely play Muse, Final Fantasy, Pokémon or Mario Kart because of the countless memories attached to each of them. Instead, he just lounged around his apartment doing nothing of significance.

"I just feel sad around January - winter blues and all," Dan told her.

"You don't like October because of the same person," she noted. "We don't see you anymore, we miss you. Have you actually tried to talk to Phil?" Louise continued.

"Yes, I --"

"Whilst sober," Louise added, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't wanna. I'm an embarrassment," Dan responded.

"Seriously, it's been five years, you need to move on from this. If you two had broken up five days ago I would've had more empathy, but come on."

"Yes, mum," Dan mumbled from under the blankets.

Louise sighed. "This is the worst self-pity cave I've ever seen. Get up, I'm doing this properly."

Dan reluctantly crawled out of the duvet and walked over to the corner of his room, mumbling, "I look like shit, avoid direct eye contact," on his way there. He watched as Louise she walked out and returned with one of his dining room chairs a minute later. She made a canopy from that and desk chair, then pulled the quilt forward so it rested between the two chairs and the edge of Dan's bed. After throwing various pillows down onto the floor, Louise grabbed Dan and pulled him down to sit with her.