For Your Eyes Only: HS

29. All I Ever Wanted Was The Truth

Everyone's staring at me and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. No fucking clue what I'm supposed to do.

Just drink, I tell myself. Be honest.

But Harry's expression is completely unreadable. Fuck.

Why have I let this build up for so long? Either take the drink, or lie, and sit there like a sopping, wet idiot.

Wanna know how I got to this 'major decision'? Let's go back a couple of hours, shall we?

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I still can't believe it. I'm literally standing in a room with fucking Harry Styles and the one and only: Alexa Chung.

I have never been this star struck.

You know when you look at someone and you just think they're so effortlessly cool? Well, I always think that about Harry, but Alexa just gives off these completely nonchalant vibes that make me want to strangle myself. That, and she's fucking stunning.

I don't think I've spoken a word in the last five or so minutes, and Harry, Alexa and some other man are having an in depth conversation that I haven't even been paying attention to. It's too late to join in now, though.

"You good?" Harry breathes in my ear. His breath tickles my ear so much that I have one of those involuntary shivers and my whole body fucking shakes. Fuck you, body reflexes. "Woah," he laughs.

Jesus, he's probably really weirded out. I hope nobody else noticed.

"Sorry, your breath just tickled my ear," I say honestly, and he laughs again.

You're probably wondering how many drinks I'm up to at this stage. I did make a promise that I wouldn't go overboard but, let's be honest, I'm already on my way there. I'm still drinking wine, but Harry has moved onto some weird cocktail things. He asked if I wanted one before but I turned him down for some reason. Maybe because they're the colour of black vomit.

"No, I'm telling you! They're really good!" He had said, and Alexa agreed at the time.

I mean, they must be – Harry's onto his fourth.

Not that I'm keeping track or anything.

"Are you enjoying yourself? I had no idea Alexa knew Tom, to be honest," he admits, scratching the back of his head. And to think Harry and I'd be back at his house by now, probably doing unspeakable things...

Alexa definitely got in the way of that. Not that I'm disappointed, because it's awesome to be getting to know her, but still.

"This is great," I respond, squeezing his waist to show I'm telling the truth. Wow, that was bold.

I wonder, if, to others, it looks like Harry and I are a 'thing'. I mean, I know we're not, well, I don't really know what any of this is, but with Harry constantly touching me, it might be sending the wrong signals to other people.

Or the right ones? Who knows. Who knows what's going on in that man's head.

I sure know what's going on in mine.

I finally tune back in on the conversation at hand. Even just Alexa's husky voice gives me goosebumps. Why does she literally make me question my sexuality? It's so unfair.

"No, we definitely have to play some kind of drinking game," she says to the man I don't know. "I'm buzzing, but I want to go all out. Hold on, though, before we start, I'm going to go have a cigarette. Anyone coming?"