For Your Eyes Only: HS

13. There Will Always Be The Kind That Criticise

Just press send, Miller. A voice tells me.

Don't do it. You'll regret it. Another says.

I'm supposed to be arriving in Paris in about 20 minutes, which means, yes, I have spent 2 whole hours firstly typing out a draft of a text to Harry, then deleting and writing it out again, and then doing that same process for about an hour, until finally feeling satisfied with what I've written, and then just mulling over my options: to send, or not to send? That is the question.

This is what I've come up with.

To Harry: Hi Harry, it's Miller here - Gemma gave me your number. I have the bracelet that you gave me, and I'm sorry but I'm already almost in Paris so I can't give it back straight away. I get back to London on the 6th, so we can meet up then if you'd like?

It's neutral, concise, and to the point. Well, it's as 'to the point' as possible without being harsh or rude. It's just a weird situation.

"Sorry, dear," A sizable lady trudges past me, with an obvious limp. The walkway between my seat and the ones on the other side is quite small, making it difficult for her to walk through. She knocks my shoulder slightly, in turn causing my arm to be pushed forward.

"That's alright, do you need any help?" I ask her as kindly as possible.

"I'm fine, love," she smiles at me and finally gets through.

I look back at my phone, about to have another round of debating inside my head no doubt, when I realise that throughout that encounter, I have managed to press send. Fuck. 

But that's not the worst thing.

My finger/hand must've been going to absolute town, because I have also managed to add five x's to the end. 

Why that letter? Why? 

Can someone please tell me?

Holy hell, he's probably going to think I'm some kind of maniac!!! Is anyone ever that forward?

Stupid, goddamn lady. She just had to push me, didn't she.

I really feel like God or whoever is up there is not on my side. Today has already been one of the weirdest days and it's only 12.30. Do I just leave the message as it is, or do I send another one saying something like: "sorry, didn't mean to send those x's"?? Or is that too desperate?

But then again me sending the x's in the first place looks desperate as hell. Oh my God, I'm overthinking everything again. I've got to stop, I'm going to turn off my phone until I get to Paris.

-----------------------------

"There you are, sweetheart! We've missed you! I don't know about you, but we had a great New Year's Eve last night! Didn't we, Cheryl?" Dad nudges Cheryl, and she puts on a false smile that only I would ever be able to see through. I've just gotten off the train and my phone is still off. I don't think I ever want to turn it on again. I just can't face the music.

"How was your night?" Sally asks me as we walk towards the cab that is waiting for us. 

"It was great! I had a lot of fun and made some new friends, which was good." Sally smiles at me warmly.

"That's wonderful. Maybe if you ever want to go to England again, you can meet up with them!" She says, her eyes bright. We hop into the cab.

"Exactly!" I reply, hauling the back door shut.

The ride to the hotel is only about five minutes, and all of us are generally quiet - the only sound coming from the radio; a romantic French tune playing ever so softly.