Vodka Sweats. {Roronoa Zoro x Reader}

Welcome The Newcomer.

"[F/N]!! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"

Welp, seems Kid has found Chopper...

Rising from the couch that you've been lounging on all day, you make your way into the hall to find Kid with narrowed eyes and a pout on his face, his finger pointing toward the dog you had bought home yesterday. Of course, Chopper's currently dragging his ass along the carpet. 

Way to make friends, Chopper.

"That's my son, the result of having a one-night stand with Zoro. Looks like his father, don't ya think?" You jest with a strong truth to your words, he was a result to your night with Zoro in a way. I mean if you didn't bang the greenette, you probably wouldn't be so close now.

"Not the time for jokes, [F/n]! What the hell is it doing here?! Why is it dragging it's ass all over the place?!" 

"Kid, please. His name's Chopper." 

"WHAT?!" 

"Besides," You change the subject before you get a chair launched at you, a smile spreading across your lips as you think of a way to snake around Kid and his short attention span. "I've already managed to get him accepted in the superstore by the vets, I informed the worker that kicking him out would be racism!"

Be impressed, Kid! No one with little characteristics could pull that off!

"That's not the poi--! Wait...is it?" The anger already draining away from his features, being replaced by genuine curiosity. And just like that, you've reached your goal. 

 I honestly don't know, dude. I'm basing this on the simple fact that the Khajiits from Skyrim are labeled under 'race' and they're technically cats so, the same rules should apply for dogs, right?

"Yes." You decide out loud with a confident grin on your face, Kid pulling a somewhat educated expression as he waves a hand at you lazily. He's not one to care for discrimination and such but he still wouldn't want you to get all self-righteous on his ass, you can get difficult when it comes to those sorts of things.

"Fine, whatever!" The redhead grumbles as he waltzes past Chopper and yourself, making his way into the kitchen, probably for a snack. "Just teach him to stop rubbing his filthy ass off my floor!"

Fuck yes, results! I wonder how far I can push it!

"Thanks Kiiiiidd~!"

"Hmph..."

"I think I'll arrange a doggy play-date with Law's dog! Chopper could use a frie--"

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE INVITE THAT CREEP INTO THIS HOUSE!" An uncontainable snort escaping your throat. You do try to cover your amusement with your fist but it's a futile attempt, Kid's rage is absolutely hilarious.

A sudden ding immediately causing you to fall silent, it's a message on your phone and cue, Kid's taunting laughter begins to fill the air instead as he comes out of the kitchen with a bag of Doritos in his hands. 

"Zoro~? Does he wanna work you out aga--STOP RUBBING YOUR DAMN ASS ON MY FLOOR, DOG!" Kid's attention instantly snapping from you to Chopper, the brown-furred dog harboring a massive smile as he proceeds to use the carpet as a butt-scratcher, much to Kid's dismay. 

Ha! Way to go, Chopper! That'll teach him a lesson for tryna troll your mother!

Although, he was right in a way. It's Zoro but instead of texting about the gym, he's actually asking you how Chopper is doing and if you'll be interested in meeting him at the park since he's currently working out there. 

Well...at least this way, he can't get lost.

"I'm gonna take Chopper to the park so you won't have to worry about your floor anymore." Shooting Zoro a quick message back, you slip into your jacket and grab Chopper's lead. "I'll get some deworming tools on the way back, just to make sure that's not the reason he's--" 

"IF YOU'RE GOING ON A PLAY-DATE WITH TRAFALGAR, MAKE SURE HE KNOWS THAT HE ISN'T WELCOME HERE!!"

Oh shit, he really fell for that joke, huh? Oh, Kid...what would I do without ya?

"C'mon Chopper, let's go meet Bepoooo~!"

A disgusted scoff from Kid being very audible from behind you, followed by some loud crunching as he binge-eats his anger away with Doritos. 

Apparently Chopper is the one who's walking you though, the second you're outside the dog essentially drags you all the way to the park, having you just barely avoid getting hit by cars along the way. 

Jeez! Does he sense that we're meeting Zoro or something?!