Darling

Chapter 22 - Please don't leave

“Baby? Please come back to me.” Carlisle’s voice was sent spinning around my head. I was lying down, on something comfy. I had that feeling like a lot of people were staring at me. Opening my eyes, I realised I was right.

I was in Carlisle’s room, in his elegant, grand four poster bed. How did I get here? Lying on top of the duvet, in my wedding dress was not how I envisioned my day.

“I’ve given you more morphine than usual. Doctor Glaze has gone to his car to get the medical equipment to find out what’s going on. Don’t leave me. Oh god, please don’t leave me.” Carlisle’s eyes glossed over in unshed tears, he leant his head on my chest and his arms came around me.

Mum, dad, Ali, Colby and Frederick excused themselves so we were alone. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn't realise you were hurting. I was just-” “Don’t worry. There is nothing anyone could off done. You would of made me sit down and the papers would never of been signed.”

He sighed before lifting his head up to gaze at me. His hair was messy and not slicked back like it was. It was all messy like he has been running his hands through it. That’s my job.

Lifting my hand, I stroked his face lightly. I felt so weak, I knew this was it. “I’m going to die aren’t I?” His eyes softened. “I think it’s time; yes. Don’t worry, I will save you my love. I promise you.” Carlisle leant forward and kissed my forehead.

Just at that moment Doctor Glaze entered, carrying a large, brown leather bag. He walked closer, till he stood at the bed then he smiled politely. “Erm, I’m going to need to feel your stomach and everything in that area, so I will leave you two for a couple of minutes to change?” I nodded and he left once more.

Time to get out of my wedding dress… “We can bury you in it if you like?” Carlisle asked as he watched me touch the flowers on the waist part of my dress. I nodded, I didn't like the idea of the funeral anymore.

“Do I have to be buried? I can’t wake up in a coffin, I just can’t.” Carlisle sighed, “We will figure it out baby.” He helped me up, and I pushed away he numbing pain. He helped me into some pink and white polka dot pyjama’s, before I was able to lie back in bed.

Relaxing on the bottom sheet, the duvet was pushed away, Carlisle fetched Doctor Glaze and I was worried about the verdict.

After examining my stomach, temperature, back and sides the pain started once more. “It is your liver failing. The cancer has spread to far. I’m sorry. I’m going to prescribe some more medication which helps ease the pain, but there is nothing we can do. We can take you to a hospital or hospice but-” “I’m going to stay here. Thank you Doctor. For everything.”

He smiled, and looked like he was trying to hold back tears. He began writing things on the prescription pad and ripped them off to hand to Carlisle. They were talking about the medication and how bad I will get, but I was tuned out. Looking at my stomach, I lifted my top up once more. My skin was a horrible yellow colour, and patchy in some places.

My stomach was caved in, but you could see the cancer. It bulged out of my stomach, my liver was smaller than it once looked. This is ridiculous. Pulling my top down, I looked around the room.

Finally Doctor Glaze left, I only had a couple of days left. How great is that?

“Baby?” Carlisle sat beside me, and I just stared at him. What do I say? “Say something? Please.” I looked down at my tangled fingers. “It will be okay. I will make sure you are not in pain, if there’s anything I can do let me know. Please.”